


How Soon Is Now?

by myfinalpleasure



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: 80sAU, AU, AlternateUniverse, Brendol is a jerk, Eighties, Homophobia, Ice Skating, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, figure skater!hux, hux/kylo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-08-22 06:48:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8276633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myfinalpleasure/pseuds/myfinalpleasure
Summary: It's 1987. Hux is balancing his abusive father, his skating passion, and his new found friendship with the punk in his English class.Ren is balancing having to move in with his uncle, his love-hate relationship with Rey and her group, and his new found friendship with the kind-of-prep in his English class.Nothing good can come of this, right?





	1. One - A Pain I'm Used To

Ren 

"Ben, be a dear and pass me those peas."  
Benjamin Solo- no, dammit, -Kylo Ren, was at his kitchen table listening to his Walkman. His "Best of Sid and Nancy" mixtape.   
"Ben?"   
He nodded his head to the beat, his unruly black hair bouncing into his face and obscuring his vision.   
Not that his eyes were open.  
"Ben! Your mother is talking to you!"   
He pulled off his headphones and looked between his father, Han, who was watching TV on the couch, and his mother, Leia, who was cooking dinner.  
"What?" He mumbled, placing his Walkman in his jacket pocket.  
"The peas. Beside you."  
With a slight eye roll he handed her the can that had rolled away from her and landed beside him. She accepted it with a tight smile and proceeded to open it with their new electric can opener.   
Han was always bring home little gifts for Leia, from work, of course. It was obviously to keep her pleased, so she wouldn't kick him out onto the streets. Kylo knew his mother wasn't made happy by material things, but she accepted them anyways, because she was desperate to keep their house under control.   
Han had a job in the import-export business, and everyone knew a lot of illegal items were smuggled through, but Han always denied it. He worked there with his best friend, Chewie, a foreigner.   
Frankly, Han was almost always working, or so he said. Kylo tried to ignore when his father came stumbling through the door at 3 and his mother would shout loud enough to wake the neighbours.   
Kylo believed that if he pretended not to have heard them, then they would pretend it never happened. It usually worked, because the next day would always be the same as the last; smiles and light conversations.   
"Isn't Rey coming over tonight?" Leia looked up from her cookbook.   
"No," Kylo replied gruffly. He stood up and started to walk up the stairs.   
"Well, why not?"   
He sighed and stopped walking. "She has stuff."   
He didn't want to admit he had yelled at her for skipping class to hang out with some new kid - Flynn, or something. She only did that for when she hung out with him.   
She was his friend. He didn't know why they remained friends; he was mean to her and she was too innocent. But she loved Kylo's parents, and they loved her back, so here he was.   
Kylo shut his door behind him and fell into his bed. He replaced the cassette in his Walkman with a New Order mix, then leaned back as the first track started to play.   
He hated when his parents called him Ben. It was a stupid name, and he didn't want to be associated with the Solos. It was bad enough that he was half Skywalker, the family known for when his mother and uncle found out that they were long lost twins, after they had dated for awhile. Han occasionally liked to bring it up and laugh about it, only to have awkward silence follow.   
Kids at school joked that Ben Solo was actually a product of incest, and that was why he was so damn ugly. That was why his ears stuck out and he was covered in freckles and little moles. So that's why Kylo wanted to start new, grow out his hair, block everyone out with his fucking awesome mixed tapes.   
His parents thought it was silly. Leia felt bad that her son was made fun of, and his dad just laughed until his sides hurt over the name Kylo Ren. He laughed even harder when Leia had misheard the first time and repeated it as 'Kyle Ron'.   
Screw them, he thought.   
He closed his eyes, only to be interrupted by a loud noise downstairs. He paused his music and sat up, trying to hear what was going on.  
"Han, I swear, you are not leaving tonight. I have been cooking a meal for us all to sit down-"  
"Chewie needs me down there, I can't say no!"   
"Yes, you can!"   
Something smashed.   
"What, you're throwing things now?"  
"I can't raise Ben alone, Han! I can't keep sending him to Luke's when we fight, it's not fair! I'm trying to keep this family together, and you leave every night to go drink and probably pay some girl-"  
"Hey!" Han boomed suddenly, "I do not, ever, do that. Ever. Now listen, I got something to do. I'll see you later."   
The door shut and Kylo could hear his mother crying softly. He sighed and put away his music.   
Quietly, he made his way back downstairs into the kitchen. His mother quickly wiped away her tears and smiled. She leaned down to clean up the broken bowl on the floor, but Kylo hook his head and grabbed a plastic bag.   
"Here, let me. You finish cooking, and I'll set the table."   
Leia hurried towards the pot of stew that was starting to boil over, quietly cursing. He continued the put the broken pieces of glass into the plastic bag, then watched his mother stir with a large spoon. Even as she got older, she was still beautiful. Her hair had started graying a few years beforehand, when Han and her started fighting more. She had lost almost all of her natural dark hair, but still enjoyed keeping it in unique styles.   
"Mom?"   
She turned around and looked at Kylo as he tied the bag closed. "Yes?"  
"Am I going to have to go to Luke's tonight?"  
She stopped stirring and swiped a stray tendril from her face. "No. Not if you don't want to."   
"Well, I don't."  
She went back to tending to the dinner, then grabbed two bowls from the cupboard. "Ben, I don't know why you don't like staying with him, he spoils you and-"  
"He treats me like a kid. Not a lot different than how Han acts."   
"Ben-"  
He threw the bag in the garbage and leaned against the counter. He grabbed some spoons and cups and placed them on the table. Leia came and placed a bowl of her stew in front of Kylo, then sat down.  
"Dear, I don't want you to talk about your father or your uncle like that. Please. I- it shouldn't come to that."   
He sat down across from his mother with a small scowl. He looked at his bowl and poked at it with a spoon.   
The rest of the meal was eaten in silence, and Kylo was glad that Rey hadn't come over for dinner, or else the evening could have been a lot worse, if that was even possible. 

Hux

An orange cat tiptoed across the large, white carpet in the living room of the Hux residence.   
"Millie, come here," Hux rubbed his fingers together and made a little clicking noise. He was sitting on the couch reading a book, not something he would normally do. He read, of course, but he usually preferred the safety of his room than the open living room, but his mother was home, and being in the same room as her was as close as he could be to her.   
She was standing at the wood table, sipping a glass of red wine. She was wearing her heels in the house, which Brendol would kill her if he knew, because it would scratch the floors, but he was upstairs, presumably avoiding everyone else. He had just come back from a business trip in Madagascar, and was apparently feeling very tired, so 'Hux was to be very quiet'.   
"What are you reading?"   
Hux's head shot up as he was surprised to hear her voice. She sounded different; strained.   
"Black Beauty."  
"Is that the one about the sled dog?"   
He smiled a little. "No, that's The Call Of The Wild. This is about an abused horse-"  
"Where's your father?"  
"U-upstairs."  
She hummed and drank the rest of her drink. She leaned down and pulled off her shoes, then walked past her son and up the stairs without another word. Her thick, blonde hair was wound in a perfect bun, which she pulled out as she disappeared.   
Hux sighed and closed his book. His cat, Millicent, looked up at him curiously.   
"I think I might go to bed now, Millie." He picked her up and carried her to the downstairs, where he had recently moved his room.   
His room used to be on the top floor, but it was too cold up there, and his parents room was right next door. Now that he was in the basement, he had it all to himself; a bathroom, an entertainment area, and a small exercise room. Nobody else went down there, anyways.   
Hux brushed his teeth and changed into his pyjamas, then put in his retainer. He took out his contacts and climbed into bed. Reaching under his mattress, he pulled out a diary, and opened it to a new page. 

November 3rd, 1987

My mother and Brendol are most likely having intercourse while forgetting about their children. God knows where Aila is, probably out with one of her boyfriends. 

He paused to contemplate that. His sister was only ten months older than him, implying he was most likely an accident. Hux knew that she probably was, too.   
His mother had never showed much love towards her children. She had hired a nanny for them for the first eight years of their life. Brendol always said that they didn't need one because 'once a child is five, they should be able to take care of themselves'.   
Aila had learned very quickly not to act out after the first time Brendol hit her. Hux remembered it very clearly. He was six, and Aila had been playing in the backyard. She came inside and tracked mud on the newly polished floors. The nanny got upset and tried to quickly clean it, but Brendol found out. He confronted Aila and told her she was never to do it again, and she stuck her tongue out at him.   
He smacked her across the cheek so hard she fell on her backside.   
Neither child ever stood up to their father again, yet Brendol always found reasons to hit Hux. Hux never allowed his father to hit his sister, because she was special and no one was allowed to hurt her, and yet no matter how well Hux did in school, or how well he was at skating, Brendol would take off his belt and bring it down on his only son.   
The house would be filled with the sobs of the thin boy as he begged it to stop, cried for his mother, his sister, anyone, to come and save him.   
No one ever did.  
This was the longest Hux had gone without a new set of welts, and he intended to keep it that way. He needed Aila to come home soon or he would be blamed and he was not about to lose his good streak. He need to talk to her about her habit of disappearing. 

I hope she is alright. I fear that one day she may not come back, especially after last week when she came back after being missing for three days with no memory of where she had been. I will discuss this worry with her when I see her next.

He closed the book and put it back in its place. He turned out his lamp and laid in bed silently. The only sounds in the huge house were a few creaks here and there. Millie started to purr, a comforting sound. Hux reached out in the dark to pet her. The next day was Monday, which he was happy about. He could be at school for most of the day, and then he could got to practice afterwards. Of course he would be hours early, but the ice rink was an easy distraction. He could skate for hours- until his ankles were swollen, and he would still be up for more. It was one of his only passions now, one of the only things he found joy in. He had even somehow convinced Phasma to join the team, even though she was a bit too bulky for such a graceful sport.  
His coach told him he was very talented, and with practice, he could be an Olympic level figure skater.   
The only problem that stood in his way to success was Brendol.  
"It's a girls' sport." He'd said. "You want to be a pussy, or a man? If you want the latter, than you'd better get to military school."   
As if Hux would join military school. He wouldn't last a day, and not because of he himself, but because of the peers. For some reason, other boys Hux's age found him repulsive, much too feminine. He only had two friends. One was Phasma, and god knows why she liked his company, because they were other guys who would be dying to talk to her. She was cool, gorgeous, and at least 6'6. Maybe less.   
And then there was Mitaka, a small boy who followed Hux and Phasma around like a lost puppy. He was in Hux's math class, and they had been placed together. Since then, Mitaka had hung out with them. He never said much, other than the occasional question or comment. He was polite and not very popular around school, and Hux couldn't judge on that fact, so he had no issue with Mitaka tagging along.   
Slowly Hux's eyes drifted close, and he fell asleep.   
Within ten minutes he was woken up to the sound of someone tapping on his window. He walked over to it in the dark, wondering who the shadow was. He decided it may be an intruder, but then why would they knock?   
He grabbed his umbrella, ready to swing it if it was a robber.  
"Armie!"   
He sighed in relief and opened the window, then helped his sister into his room.  
"Aila, what are you doing?" He asked, closing the screen behind her.  
"I didn't want to wake Dad up," she said as she touch a bruise on her collar bone. Hux took a moment to look her over.   
Her permed hair was tied back into a pony tail, and her ridiculously huge hoop rings seemed to be pulling her earlobes downwards. There were dark bags under her eyes and she smelt of cigarette smoke. She was wearing a very short dress that seamed a little out of fashion.   
"Cindy Lauper," Aila said, as if reading her brother's mind. "It's styled a bit like one of hers. Why are you up so late?"   
"You woke me," he replied. "Why are you up so late? We have school tomorrow."   
"I'm not going." She sat on his floor and pulled off her Converse. "I have a bitch of a hangover."  
"Brendol will kill you. You have to go to school." Hux pulled her up. "Go to bed."   
"I can't, they'll hear me."   
"Then sleep in here. I'll get you a blanket."   
He walked to his closet and pulled a wool sheet from the top shelf. He passed it to Aila, and she grabbed a pillow and laid on the rug. She rolled herself up and sighed.   
Hux climbed into his own bed and bit his cheek.  
"Who have you the hickeys?"   
Aila shifted. "Why does it matter?"   
"You can't hide those, and I don't want to have to fight with Brendol over beating you senseless."   
"He won't. He knows I'd tell someone."  
"Would you though? You don't when he hits me."  
That shut her up, and Hux felt a little bit bad, but he wasn't lying, his sister never told anyone about what happened at home. But neither had he.  
Maybe he would, one day.


	2. Two - Something Must Break

Hux

"Nice trench coat, Scully." Phasma quipped as she sat beside Hux at the bench outside the school cafeteria.   
"Why am I Scully," He inquired, "and not Mulder? Is it-"  
"The hair? Yes, it is."   
Hux hated his hair. It was much too vibrant and thick, difficult to deal with. Phasma always insisted it looked fine, but he wasn't sure.   
Mitaka came and joined them, nodding quietly as he sat down.   
The people who were around them on the various benches were people who didn't really belong in any cliques, so instead formed their own.   
Hux looked at his friends. If he had to categorize them, he would say that Mitaka would probably be a geek, and Phasma, a jock. Hux himself didn't know what he was. A prep, maybe? But he didn't wear pastel sweaters or golf polos. He wore too much black to be a prep. Maybe he was his own group. He sort of liked that idea, because he could be the leader of his own group. He imagined himself controlling hundreds of smaller Huxs.   
He opened his bag and pulled out a sandwich, then inspected it. The lettuce had gone soggy, so he checked it in a garbage bin. The bell rang, indicating that the break was over. Hux said goodbye and walked to his next class, English. 

Ren

Kylo's eyes opened slowly and he yawned loudly. Sun was shining through his window. He looked over at his clock, frowning.   
"Shit!" He yelled, jumping from bed. He had slept hours past his alarm, and Kylo rushed to put on a pair of black pants. He threw on his Depeche Mode shirt and put his leather jacket over top. He put on a pair of Creepers and ran to his mom's room.  
"Mom, get up."   
She opened the door wearing a robe, then looked at her watch. "Ben, why aren't you at school?"   
"I slept in, can I take the car?"   
"Why don't you just stay home then?"   
Kylo thought about it momentarily. No, he had to apologize to Rey in person.   
"No, I can't miss today. The car, mom, can I take it?"   
She bit her lip. "Go ask your father."  
He went downstairs and found Han sleeping on the couch with a blanket. He assumed Leia had refused to let him sleep upstairs after the fiasco from the night before.   
Why was he still at home and not at work?  
"Dad, I need the car."   
Han stirred and looked up at his son. He thought about it for much too long, then finally sighed. "I guess, but be careful with her. You'll be dog meat if I find a single-"  
"Yeah, ok, whatever." He grabbed the keys off the hook and went outside. He hated his dad's stupid car, The Falcon, Han called it. A ratty Volkswagen from when Han was a lot younger. It had seen many road trips and hard times as the paint was worn off and the windows were covered in stickers and writing from Han's dumb friends.  
Kylo climbed in the front seat and plugged in the keys. He would rather die than be seen driving The Falcon around, but it would be worse if his mom dropped him off in it.   
Kylo drove to school as fast as he could without crashing into anything. He was trying to hurry because he didn't want to stumble into class late, have everyone looking at him as he tried to find a seat- he got nervous just thinking about it.   
He pulled into the parking lot and walked quickly into the school. He took the stairs two at a time, hurrying to his English class. He opened the door and everyone's heads turned to look at him. He cringed, and silently moved to an empty seat in the back.   
"Mr. Ren, tardy again."   
Kylo admitted he felt a little ridiculous requesting a name change at the office at the beginning of the year, but he didn't care. All the teachers called him by his preferred name now.   
"As I was saying," Ms. Ti continued, "we will be pairing up and writing papers on the subject of difference. Each pair of partners is to spend one evening at the other's house, and write about how their life may differ from your own."   
Kylo started to tap his fingers nervously. He didn't know anyone very well in the class, and certainly didn't want to bring anyone over for dinner.  
"I will be sending permission slips home for your parents to sign, to make sure they are alright with this."   
He took deep breaths to try and calm himself down. He wanted to throw something, break something, anything.  
Ms. Ti started to call pairs, and Kylo could barely breathe. Who would he have to tolerate for two evenings? Whose parents would he have to meet?   
"Umm, Kylo and..Hux."   
Kylo's eyes grew as he searched the room. Who was Hux? Who named their child Hux? It must have been a last name.  
As he scanned the room someone came and stood beside him. Kylo looked up to see a thin boy with ginger hair. He had little sideburns and a serious expression.   
Great, he thought. A prep.   
He looked the boy over again. Maybe not a prep. He was wearing all black.   
"Hello," the boy said. He was British. "Hi," Kylo replied quietly.   
"You are Kylo Ren, yes?"   
"Yeah,"  
"Well, I am your assigned partner. I shall inquire as to when you are allowed to join us for dinner, as I assume you will, too. Here," Hux shoved a piece of paper in Kylo's direction. It had a number on it.   
"Call me when you find a date,"   
Hux walked away, and Kylo frowned. This wasn't a business deal, it was a school project. Why did he act like he had a stick up his ass?   
Either way, Kylo was not excited about having to discuss this with his parents. He hoped that maybe he could wiggle his way out of it.   
As he left English, he spotted Rey across the hall. She was wearing jean overalls and a pair of ratty Converse.   
She was talking some girl, Jess. He walked up to them and stood behind Rey until Jessica smiled awkwardly and said she would see Rey later.   
Rey turned around, looking up at her friend.   
"What do you want?" She snapped, starting to walk away. He towered over most of the kids around them, and he hated standing out. He pulled her to the side and leaned against the lockers.   
"I'm sorry for yelling at you," he mumbled, moving some hair from his face.   
"You better be," she toyed with the buckle of her overalls. "I'm allowed to hang with people other than you, alright? We're still friends, just Poe wanted me to meet Finn, that's all."   
Ahh, Poe Dameron. Everyone loved Poe. Everyone. Kylo had known him since they were kids; his mom and Poe's mom were good friends.   
He was the type of guy who could bring a smile to anyone's face. He got good grades, he had great hair, and was incredibly handsome. He would crack a joke and the whole school would laugh with him. Girls were dying to date him, but Kylo knew the truth.   
He remembered when Poe told him, they were thirteen, and he remembered exactly how it happened.

"Ben, can I tell you a secret?"   
Ben looked up from his X-Men comic and nodded. "Sure,"   
"But you can't tell anyone. No one."  
"Ok, just tell me already."   
Poe took a deep breath. "Ok, so you know how..um, like, our parents are different genders? Like a boy and a girl? And they love each other or whatever?"   
"I guess,"   
"Well, um, I think I'm in love with boys. I really like boys."   
"Oh," Ben closed his book and sat up. "Ok."   
"You don't hate me or anything, right?" Poe looked nervous.  
"No," Ben replied. "I mean, it's kinda weird. But we can still be friends. Have you ever kissed a boy?"   
Poe swallowed hard and shook his head. Ben had kissed a girl once. Rey. They had experimentally kissed on the mouth a year beforehand, after watching a movie with lots of kissing. They didn't see why it was so great, and Rey had said she thought it was gross. They never did it again.   
And at that point, Ben and Poe were underneath their pillow fort on a Saturday night, while Ben's parents were sleeping.   
"Do you- I mean," Ben stuttered. "Do you want to try? Just to see what it's like?"   
Poe nodded and crept closer. There was an awkward air, neither knew who should start or what they should do. Finally Poe placed his hands on Ben's shoulders and leaned in.   
It was different than when Ben had kissed his friend Rey. That had been quick, so quick he had barely felt it happen. But Poe's lips were pressed against his, it felt different. Better.  
His hands found Poe's waist and they kissed for what seemed like ten minutes. They stopped to breathe, and Ben cleared his throat.  
"I liked that," Poe said calmly.  
"Me too,"  
"Let's not tell anyone."

And they didn't. They never did anything else, and Kylo never told anyone it had happened. 

"Ben?" Rey snapped him back to reality. Kylo shot her a look and she lowered her gaze. "Right, sorry. Kylo, I gotta go. I'll call you later."   
He watched her go, then reached into his pocket and put on his headphones. Nothing like a little Joy Division to calm him down.

Hux

When he got home, after skating practice, Brendol was in the kitchen. Hux was not anticipating that. He carefully closed the door and started to walk down the stairs.   
"Hux."  
He stopped and peeking his head around the corner.  
"Yes?"   
"Where is Aila?"   
Shit. He knew he had forgotten something. He usually drove her home from school, but recently she had missed a lot, and he had forgotten she was there that day.   
"I-I'm sorry, sir. I'll go and-"   
Brendol walked towards Hux, grasping his belt that was still looped around his pants.   
Brendol Hux was an intimidating man. Tall, cold, and sneering- nobody enjoyed his company. He had a short orange beard that was starting to grow white patches. His hair was combed perfectly and his suit was crisp and ironed.   
And now he was standing in front of his son, seemingly ready to beat him with the belt.  
"Too late for that, son." He replied gruffly. "She'll have gone home with a friend by now."   
"Sir, I'm sorry, I forgot. It won't happen again."  
The streak, Hux. He thought to himself. Don't let him break it.  
"Sir?"   
Brendol opened the clasp on his belt and pulled it out. Hux started to shake as he was pulled from the door way and into living room. He tried to be strong, really, truly tried, but it was a hopeless effort. Hux's eyes started to water, and he quietly whispered, praying.   
"Brendol? Darling?"   
Both boys turned to see Alana Hux standing in the hallway. She was wearing a casual dress and her hair was up in its usual bun.   
"What?" Brendol snapped.   
"Armitage, get off the floor. Brendol, put your belt away. Please, dear, not today."   
Hux got up quickly and ran up to his mother, desperate to feel safe.  
"Mother, I need you to sign something."   
"Sign what?" Brendol inquired while putting his belt back on.   
"It's a form for a project. There's a boy I'm supposed to work with, and he needs to come over." He pulled it from his book bag and gave it to Alana. She read it over and nodded. "Yes, this is fine, we'll have the cook make something. Tell him tomorrow is fine."   
She pulled a pen from her pocket and signed it. Hux thanked her and went down to his room. He was so nervous he was still shaking. Stupid Aila, she almost got him killed. Figuratively.   
Hux laid down on the bed and pet Millicent. "I really dodged a bu-"  
RINGGG!  
Hux stood up and picked up the phone off the receiver. "Hello, Hux residence. Who is speaking?"   
"Um, it's-"  
"Oh, it's you. Ren, yes?"   
"Uh, yeah."   
Hux sat on his bed, tugging the cord a little. "And?"   
"I knew Hux wasn't your name."  
"Pardon?"  
There was a chuckle on the other side. Low and quiet. "Hux is your last name."  
"I know that."  
"What's your first name?"  
"Why does that matter? Listen, does tomorrow work?"  
"For what?"  
Hux groaned in frustration. Why was this boy so dim? "Can you come over tomorrow?"   
"Yeah,"   
"Don't you have to ask your parents?"   
Silence.  
"Hello?" Hux said loudly.   
"No, they don't care."  
"Alright, I'll see you at school."  
He hung up without saying goodbye. He wasn't sure what to make of this Kylo Ren. What an odd name, it sounded made up. Hux had seen Ren around the halls before. He hung out with Rey Kenobi and Poe Dameron. How he managed that with the way he dressed was beyond Hux, but he wasn't going to start judging.   
Well, perhaps he was. Considering Ren was already do tall, why did he need platform ahoes? It seemed ridiculous and silly. Plus all the leather and eyeliner- Hux could only imagine the type f terrible music he listened to. Maybe the same crap Phasma did, Metallica and Led Zeppelin.   
Either way, the next day was going to be eventful.


	3. Three - Neighbourhood Threat

Kylo 

He sat in the living room looking at the phone.   
"That was weird," he muttered, placing the phone down.   
Ren. Nobody had called him that before. It had a nice ring to it, and he liked the way Hux said it. He sounded a bit pompous though, but that's what's expected of someone like him.   
Kylo tried to imagine what their house must look like. How many floors did it have? 4? 5?   
"Ben."   
He turned around to see Han standing behind him. He looked tired.  
"Yeah."   
"Where's Leia?"   
Kylo looked around the room, as if she would be there. Was she not at home? He hadn't seen her since the morning.   
"I dunno," he stood up. "She's probably out."   
"What were you doing on the phone?"   
"School stuff."  
"Are you gonna pay the phone bill?"   
"No,"   
They stood quietly for a moment.   
"Dad, I need you to sign a form."  
"What for?" Han went into the kitchen and opened the fridge, grabbing a beer.   
"A project. Can I have someone over on Wednesday?"  
"Sure, whatever."   
Han sat on the couch and turned on the TV. He opened the beer and looked up at Kylo. "And?"  
"And I'm having dinner at someone's house tomorrow. Sign this," he passed the paper and a pen.   
"Ok," he scribbled his name and shoved it back. "Now scram, Lando and Chewie are coming over."   
"Is that why mom isn't home?"   
Han's head snapped back towards his son. "Don't be a smartass."   
Kylo went back upstairs to his room. He was not interested in listening to Lando's loud taunting or Han's drunk laughter. Grabbing one of his favourite mixed tapes, Kylo placed his Walkman in his pocket along with his wallet and climbed out his window. He jumped the short drop to the grass below. It was in need of a mow, it was up to Kylo's shins. He knew that he would have to because Han wouldn't.   
He walked along the road, not caring where he went. The night was cool, reminding him of the winter that would be coming soon. Kylo turned on his Walkman, skipping until he found a Cure track, Just Like Heaven.   
The best intro to any song, ever.

Hux

He woke up the next morning to the sound of a loud crash. Then a scream. Hux shot up in bed and looked around. No, it wasn't morning. It was only 4:27.  
Technically morning.  
Slowly standing, Hux looked around for something to hold for protection. What if it actually was an intruder this time?   
Aila hadn't come home last night though.   
Another scream.   
Hux ran up the stairs as fast as he could, then froze as he saw the scene before him.   
Aila was lying in the carpet, writhing. Smacking at things. She must have been hallucinating; there was nothing there. She was crying, and Brendol was grabbing her by the arms. Alana was standing in the doorway, crying, too.  
"Brendol, leave her be," she begged.  
"No!" He yelled. "She goes out and does drugs, she needs to be- what're you gawking at? Go to bed!"   
Hux walked across the room and kneeled beside his sister.   
"Aila?"   
She screamed again, batting at something that wasn't there. There was blood coming from her nose, and her eyes were bloodshot.   
"I said go to bed!" His father's hand came down upon his face faster than he could register. He quickly went downstairs, abandoning his sister, and climbed into his bed. He ignored the pain of his throbbing eye and shoved his face in his pillow.  
A couple of hours later his alarm went off, and he climbed from bed slowly. He put on a pair of casual dress pants and sweater. He didn't bother eating, and grabbed his car keys. Realizing his sister wasn't home, he left.  
It was her fault. She was the reason he got hit. He growled as he put the stick into reverse and backed out of the driveway.   
Hux had gotten his car after receiving his drivers licence (in fact, he assumed that they had bought it even before then), but he knew it wasn't a present. It was a statement. He was no longer going to be driven around, he had his own licence and car now.  
Since then he drove himself everywhere.  
The day was long and boring. His face hurt and Hux only found out about his black eye when Mr. Tarkin inquired about it.  
Hux touched his eye. "Pardon?"  
"I asked, what happened to your face?"   
"I slipped," he lied. Tarkin wasn't stupid, but Hux nodded politely and walked away.   
After school he found Ren standing alone and walked up beside him. Ren wasn't paying attention, and was listening to music.   
"Ren." Hux poked the other's arm. It was surprisingly toned.   
The boy turned and looked downwards, then pulled off his headphones. "Yeah?"   
"What are you listening to?"  
"Huh?" Ren looked down at his Walkman. "Oh, umm, Iggy Pop."   
Hux had no idea what that was, but didn't want to appear ignorant. "Let's go."  
"Where?" Ren walked beside him, his ridiculous shoes squeaking against the tiles.   
"What do you mean? To my house, for the project. You didn't forget, Ren, did you?"   
"No, but, like, now?"  
Hux stopped walking. "Yes, now. Is there a problem?"   
"What happened to your eye?"   
"I slipped. Come on."   
They walked to the parking lot in silence. Unlocking his car, Hux climbed into the driver's seat. Ren stood gawking at the car with his mouth open.   
"This is yours?"   
"Yes, get in."   
Ren opened the door and sat down. He touched the leather and did something that resembled a smile. "Nice," he muttered.   
As Hux plugged the keys in, Ren produced a cassette from his pocket. "Can I put this in?"  
Hux eyed the tape. What horrible music was on there?   
"It's good, I promise," Ren insisted, as if reading the other's mind.   
"Fine."   
The car started to roll down the road towards his house. Hux gripped the wheel tightly. It wasn't like him to blank out during school. The day went by so slowly, yet he couldn't remember almost anything from any of his classes. What had they learned in calculus? History? Debate?   
Suddenly the car was alive with music, and Ren smiled a little again.  
"What is this?" Hux asked, watching his knuckles turn white.   
"The Passenger, Iggy Pop. Great track." 

I am the passenger, and I ride and I ride..

They pulled into the complex where Hux's house was, and Ren pressed his hand against the window. Hux scrunched his face a little, imagining the handprint that would be left there.   
"You live in Arkanis Meadows?"  
"Yes," Hux parked the car outside his large, white house. "Is that surprising?"  
"Um, no. But I've never been here before."   
The redhead hesitated before unlocking the house door. Were his parents home? What about Aila?   
Inhaling deeply, he unlocked and opened the front door, then removed his shoes.  
He turned around and looked at Ren, who was still gawking at the house outside.  
"Are you coming in?" 

Ren

Kylo looked up from his daze. "Huh? Oh, yeah."   
He walked up the steps and walked into the house, which was even better than the outside.   
Kylo had been surprised when Hux had told him to come over right after school. Surely they wouldn't be eating at 4:00, which would mean that they would be spending time together apart from dinner. He tried to imagine what sort of things Hux might like to do.   
Read, study maybe? Clean? None of those things seemed terribly exciting to Kylo.   
"Take off your shoes," Hux commanded.   
Kylo did as he was asked, and removed his platforms. He put down his backpack on the floor near his shoes.   
He felt so out of place in the huge house. Everything was white. The furniture, the rugs, the walls. Kylo's leather pants and jacket did not mix well. And yet, Hux was also wearing all black.  
"Are your parents home yet?" He asked.  
Hux opened a door that led to the garage. There was a car parked inside.   
"My mother's home. My father is at work, presumably."   
"Ok."  
"What do you want to do?"  
Kylo frowned. "Um, I dunno. It's your house."  
There was a clacking sound from the floor above, then the sound of someone descending the stairs. A woman, pale, thin, tall, stood in the doorway. She had sad eyes and tight lips. Her hair was platinum blonde (most likely dyed that way), and her dress had business written all over it.  
"Hello," she said softly. Her accent was like Hux's. "Who's this?"   
"This is Ren," Hux responded.   
"Ren?" The woman frowned. "Is that short for Kieran?"  
"Um, no, actually it's-" Kylo started.   
"Ren, this is my mother, Alana. Mother, we're going downstairs." Hux butted in.   
Alana's lips pursed together. She looked down a little. "Aila's down there, so you know. Best not, maybe?"   
"It's fine," Hux replied. "Let's go, Ren."   
That was odd, he thought.  
Kylo's family wasn't great, but he wouldn't talk to his mom like that. The tension in the air disintegrated as they walked down the stairs. An orange cat ran past them, and Hux scooped down to pick it up.  
"Hello, Millie," he whispered.  
"Is that your cat?" Kylo asked, tucking some hair behind his ear.   
Hux gave him a look, like it was a stupid question.   
The downstairs was huge. It had a huge box TV (and a VCR!) on one side, and a couch in front. There also a door that led to a bedroom. Hux quickly walked over and shut it.  
"Is that your room?" Kylo asked, curious as to why they couldn't go inside.  
"Yes, Aila's sleeping."  
"Who's Aila?"  
"My sister."  
Kylo laughed. "You share a room with your sister?"  
"No, her room is in the loft. But she's been drugged with sleeping pills and will not be moving soon. Come on,"  
Kylo wanted to ask more about what the hell was going on in the family, but something told him that he wasn't going to get any answers.   
They sat on the couch in front of the TV, each person on opposite sides of the couch.   
Hux grabbed the remote and flipped through channels, before stopping on one. A small grin came on his face.  
"Do you watch The X-Files?"  
"Uh, my mom used to, but we don't get the channel anymore."  
Kylo never said that he liked the show, but Hux kept it on anyways. They sat in silence, watching some sort of parasitic creature attacking men in the sewer.   
Suddenly a door slammed upstairs, and Hux froze like a timid animal. His face was one that Kylo knew well; it was the face his mom made when Han came home late and drunk. Anger and terror mixed in one. Not that Han ever did anything; he was never an angry drunk. But she was still cautious of what a man can do when not in proper control of his mind.  
The night beforehand had been one of the worst. Kylo had gotten home from his stroll to find his parents in his room. Leia was crying and yelling at Han.  
"Well, what do you mean you can't find him? You were home, were you not? How could you let him leave the house?"  
"He's not two, Leia, he's sixteen. Why do I need to babysit him?"  
Both turned to see their son standing in the doorway, his headphones still on. He slipped them off his head and frowned. "What's going on? I'm right here."   
"Oh, thank god." Leia brought Kylo into an embrace. "Why did you leave?"   
He gave her a little pat on the back.   
"Mom, I'm fine. Dad had some friends over so I left to go on a walk. I was only gone for about an hour."   
His mother let go of him and looked to her husband. Kylo cursed himself, because she must have not known about Lando and Chewie.   
"Han," she started.   
"What, I didn't-"  
She put up a hand to stop him. "Ben, sweetie, grab some clothes and whatever else you need, I'll drop you at Luke's house, okay?"   
Within about fifteen minutes Leia and Kylo were driving along the road to his uncle's house. He watched his mother's fingers tap nervously against the wheel, until finally she cleared her throat.   
"Ben, I want you to know that we love you very much. No matter what. Ben?"  
He looked at her. "Yeah, I know."   
"I don't want you thinking we're abandoning you by dumping you at Luke's house all the time. And I want you to know that we've been thinking.."  
He had an idea of what she was going to say. The walls in the house were thin, plus his parents constant bickering could probably be heard from China.   
Leia continued. "Maybe it would be good for you to stay at your uncle's for awhile. Not just one night every few days. You could live there for a bit, until your father and I sort some stuff out. He's good for your anger issues, and it would be healthy for the both of you. I mean, I'm not saying you're moving in tonight, but maybe soon."   
Kylo sniffled in reply, worried he might explode if he opened his mouth. Why did he have to move? It was Han who was ruining everything, making everyone miserable.   
"Ben?" Leia turned a little to look at her son. Kylo scratched his cheek and shrugged.   
"When do you want me gone?"  
"Oh, darling," she cooed. He was angry. He was supposed to sound annoyed, but Leia knew that he still loved her. "We don't want you gone," she explained, "we just want you to be happy."  
"I'd be happy if everyone left me alone," he muttered before putting his Walkman on play. He turned away from his mother and closed his eyes to relish in the calming sound of a Bowie track.   
The rest of the drive was silent, and when they got to Luke's house he was sitting outside on his porch. The house was made of stone and wood, and Kylo guessed it was made by Luke and his friends themselves. The inside of the house was a throwback to the sixties; hippy shit everywhere. Candles and incense, beaded doorways and weird antiques.   
Leia climbed out of The Falcon and waved to her twin. He stood up and stretched, like he had been sitting a long time. Meditating, possibly.   
"Hello, Leia, Ben."  
"Luke," she hugged him and gestured to Kylo. "Is it ok if..?"  
"Of course," Luke smiled through his beard. Kylo wondered where his uncle got all the robes he wore. Maybe he made them himself.   
"I love you," Leia called from the car as she got back in. Kylo gave a small and semi awkward wave back as she pulled out of the driveway.   
He followed his uncle into the house, pushing beads out of his face. There was a low smoke in the living room from something that was burning. It smelled heavily like herbs.   
"You can go upstairs, I don't expect you to spend time with me, Ben."   
Kylo gave Luke a look and started up the stairs to the guest room, which was basically his second bedroom. "I don't know what you mean."   
"Please, don't pretend that you enjoy spending time here. I'm not hurt, in fact, I feel bad that you and your parents are going through this. I've known Han for awhile, and he's my best friend, but he shouldn't have married your mother."  
Luke watched his nephew's expression remain neutral. Of course, Kylo knew that Luke was right. Leia and Han shouldn't have married, even if they felt like they loved each other. Kylo didn't doubt that they loved each other, but there was a certain annoyance (not quite hatred), that tipped the scale just a little too much.   
"Ok," he finally responded. Luke shook his a head a little and left the room, only followed by the whooshing of his robes and the clicking of the beads.   
Upstairs, the guest room was decorated with a few New Order and Clash posters to seem a bit more homely. Luke had picked them for Kylo homself.   
Kylo couldn't recall if he had every given gratitude toward the gesture.   
He didn't wish his life style on anyone- nights and days spent at his uncle's while his parents took breaks from each other or spent the whole time fighting. He hated it, he just wanted to stay home with his mother, the one who would wake him up from night terrors, cuddle him or whisper him to sleep while he sobbed into her shoulder. Recently they had been worse, and he tried not to let his mother coddle him at the age of sixteen, but sometimes it was bad enough that he would lie his head in her lap and let her pet his hair until he had calmed down. Once he told Rey about this, and she laughed a little and called him a "mama's boy". Kylo knew that she didn't say it to be mean, she was just pointing out the truth.   
He wanted someone who would understand his problems, his difficulties.   
And now this peculiar, thin, orange-haired boy sat in front of him with a slightly concerned look on his face. Who could have just slammed a door upstairs that would have Hux so worried?   
"What's wrong?" Kylo asked.  
"Brendol's home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so gay for Rey honestly and it rhymes which makes it hella better also ayyyy I am   
> ✨T R A S H✨Q U E E N™✨  
> Sorry bout that


	4. Four - Dancing in the Dark

Hux 

Great. Brendol.   
Just what he needed right now.   
Hux had not expected to find Aila drugged and sleeping in his bed. How had that happened? Brendol must have given her some sleeping pills the night before to calm her down. But topping acid with sleeping pills surely wasn't a good idea.   
Yet she seemed fine, peaceful even. But how had she made her way into his room? He imagined Brendol carrying her downstairs, entering his room and laying his disgusting eyes upon his stuff.  
The thought gave him chills.   
"Who's Brendol?" Ren asked, toying with a safety pin that he wore like an earring. Hux wondered if Ren had pierced it himself.   
"My father," Hux replied, standing. He turned off the television, even though he had wanted to see the end of the episode. He had already watched all the seasons so far and owned them all on VHS, but still enjoyed rewatching them over and over. It was one of the few things he found comfort in. Ren looked up at him with a puzzled expression. Hux tried to imagine what Ren's parents looked like. Ren had such a unique face; his nose, plush lips, large ears that were covered by shaggy hair, high cheekbones, and various moles and freckles everywhere...  
"Hux?"   
"Mm?" He cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow. "What?"   
"Are we going to meet him?"  
"Who?"  
Ren frowned. "Brendol."   
"Oh. Um, yes. I suppose."   
Slowly and a bit too timidly, Hux led the other up the stairs. He could hear the low voice of his father, and his mother whispering a bit frantically.   
"Please, don't- darling." Alana turned to face the two boys who arrived at the top of the stairs. Brendol turned around and let out a deep breath. He stared daggers at Hux, then turned his gaze to Ren. Hux felt some sort of urge to stand in front of the other, to protect him from his father's judgment. But it was too late.  
"Who's this?" He bellowed.   
"This is Ren, sir." Hux replied. "We are writing-"  
"Why are you dressed like that?" The question was directed at Ren, who stood with a rather dumb expression. 

Ren 

Brendol Hux was the most scary man Kylo had ever seen. He swallowed hard as the man stared him down.   
How the hell was he supposed to answer? He stuttered, and bit his cheek hard.   
"You're not a fag, are you?"   
"Brendol!" Alana snapped, looking back and forth between her husband and the awkward teenager. Hux's fists were balled and he was visibly restraining himself.   
"Mother," Hux started, "Has the cook prepared dinner yet?"   
His voice was quiet and calm; it didn't suit his current physical signs.   
"Yes, and you and your friend will be dining alone." Brendol answered, straightening his cuff. "I am taking Alana to dinner."   
Hux stepped forward. "But we were suppo-"  
"That's enough, Hux! I'll have no more!"   
Everyone stood frozen, until finally Brendol took his wife's hand and practically pulled her from the room and out the front door without another word. Kylo looked over to the redhead with a questioning look. Hux's cheeks were tinged red, and he inhaled sharply. "I apologize for my father's behaviour, and I'm sorry he called you a queer. Shall we sit down?"   
"Wait, Hux-"  
"Let's sit down."  
Nodding, Kylo followed the other to a long, marble table. The seats were silk and matched the house's white theme. As they sat down, across from each other, a woman came from the kitchen holding two plates.   
She placed the first in front of Kylo, and he stared at it.  
A whole fish. It was a giant, dead fish on his plate, its eyes staring at him. It had some herbs and rice surrounding it, with a slice of lemon on top.   
He looked up to see Hux tucking a napkin on his lap and then carefully picking up his fork and knife.  
Kylo looked back to the animal on his plate. He felt embarrassed almost, not knowing how to start. He didn't even like fish.   
Hux had already carefully cut pieces off, eating silently.   
"Hux?"  
"Yes, Ren?"   
"Um," he twiddled with the pin in his earlobe. "Your dad.."  
"Yes?"  
"Is he military?"   
"Yes."  
"Are you joining then?"   
"No, I have other passions." Hux set down his fork and took a sip of water from his glass.  
Kylo waited for him to add something, but he didn't. "Like what?"   
"I prefer for my hobbies to go unnoticed."  
"Oh,"  
"Yes. And what do you do, Ren?"   
He could feel the Walkman in his pocket. He didn't want to seem dumb or uncool compared to Hux.   
"I..um, I make mixtapes. Sometimes I draw. Do you listen to music?"   
"Only what's in the house."   
Kylo looked around but didn't see any music systems. "What's in the house?"  
Hux cleared his throat. "We have a radio, and a stereo. My mother likes opera, and occasionally listens to the classical station."   
Kylo nearly spit out his drink. Classical? Opera?   
"That stuff is shit,"   
Hux shot a small glare from across the table. Kylo leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged. "I mean, if that's your thing then fine, but when you come over, I'll show you some real music."  
Hux hummed in response. "When will that be?"  
"When will you come over, you mean?"  
"Yes,"  
"Well, tomorrow, I guess. If you can."  
"I can," Hux glanced at Kylo's untouched fish. "Can you not eat it? I told Marie, the cook, you see,  not to make it, but we don't have chicken right now."   
"Huh? Oh, no, um, the rice was enough, I'm full."   
"Alright then." The other stood and pushed his chair in. "Marie, we're done in here. Come Ren, I'll drive you home."   
"Actually," Kylo got up and followed. "I don't live that far away. Only a few streets." He pulled on his shoes and slung his bag on his shoulder. "I can walk."   
"Are you sure?" Hux appeared as if he wanted to leave.   
Kylo coughed. "Well, I mean, you can walk me home, if you want."   
"Alright." Hux pulled his trench coat off the hook and put on a pair of high tops. He didn't seem like the type of person to wear them, but everything about the evening had been odd.   
They walked outside into the cool night, and when Kylo breathed, he could see his exhale swirl and disappear.   
"So, uh, I have to warn you." He started.   
"Mm?"   
"My house is a lot different than yours. Like, really different."   
Hux nodded. "I expected that."   
"What's that supposed to mean?" Kylo frowned.   
"Well, I certainly don't intend to be offensive, but I know your family isn't rich. And everyone knows who your father is. Hell, you're lucky Brendol didn't realize you're a Skywalker-Solo. He doesn't think highly of your family."    
"Oh."   
"Yes."  
"I see."   
"Yes?"   
"Well, fuck that."   
Hux raised an eyebrow. "Fuck what, may I ask?"   
Kylo laughed, sending more tendrils into the air. "Fuck his opinion. I don't really care what he thinks of my family. I don't really like them either." He stopped and realized what he said, then looked at his feet. "Um, this is my house."   
Hux looked at it and nodded. The outside wasn't much to look at, and Kylo knew that it was nothing compared to the white mansion they were just at.   
"I'll see you tomorrow then?" Hux held out a hand, and Kylo stared at it for a moment before it clicked. He shook Hux's outstretched hand a little awkwardly. He felt so thin and frail.   
"Oh, um, Hux."  
"Yes, Ren?"  
"Wait here."   
Kylo booked it inside the house and past his mother, who was reading on the couch. "Ben?"  
"One minute!" He called, running to his room. He searched through his pile of cassettes until he found a good one, then ran back downstairs and outside. He panted as he passed it to Hux.  
"Here,"  
"What's this for?"   
"To listen to. It's a mixed tape, I figured I'd just give it to you now. Don't break it."   
Hux inspected it like he would be basing his opinion on what the outside looked like. "Thank you."  
"It's got good stuff. Sid and Nancy, The Cure, Depeche Mode, Bowie, The Stooges, and so on." Kylo assumed Hux had no idea who any of those bands were, but he hoped that he liked them. 

Hux

When he got home he realized he was still alone. Marie had gone home for the night, and his parents wouldn't be back for awhile. Still wearing his shoes, Hux walked across the carpet and to the cupboard. He opened it to reveal a stereo. He opened the cassette deck and pushed in the tape that Ren had given him. It was thoughtful of Ren to lend him music, real music. Although he wouldn't admit it, he disliked the stuff his mother listened to, but Hux had never bothered to show interest in listening to modern music. He hated the shit that Phasma and her group of male followers listened to (heavy metal and loud rock), and he didn't really know anyone else.   
Turning up the volume, Hux pressed play for the first track. He looked at the list on the back of the case to see what the song was.   
'1. people are people - depeche mode'  
Hux ignored the fact that Ren had illiterately written it in all lower case letters, but focused on his cool penmanship. It looked hurried, but was different from the cursive that Hux had been taught to write in as a child.   
He sat on the couch and listened to the songs, particularly liking 'Heroes' by David Bowie and 'Pictures of You' by The Cure. He was excited to tell Ren about his new discovery.   
"Armie?"   
Hux turned to see his sister rubbing her eyes and slumping in the doorway. He stood and walked over to her, feeling her forehead.   
"Aila, how are you?"   
"I feel like shit."   
"That's expected," he helped her sit down at the table. "I'm going to get you some water and something light to eat, alright?"   
Walking into the kitchen, Hux searched the cupboards for something she could have that wouldn't make her throw up. He settled on graham crackers, since everything else was full of dairy or meat.   
Aila practically inhaled the water and then the crackers. He waited patiently until she was ready to talk to ask her a question.   
"What happened last night?"   
She swallowed her current bite of food. "I was out-"   
"I gathered that."   
"Let me talk, ok? I was out and I took a little tab. Just a small one. But man, was I fucked up. Anyways, I got back and Dad was huffing and puffing about me being  gone, and then I started tripping hard. It was horrible! Like, not rad, right? Then I don't really remember after that, but I woke up in your bed."   
Hux picked up her plate and glass and put it in the sink. "Aila, you know that when you do that, Brendol-"  
"I know." She stood up and brushed her matted hair off her face. "I'm sorry, Armitage."   
He turned and looked at his sister to see tears on her cheeks.   
"I don't want him to beat you," she continued. "But when I'm out, when I'm high, I forget. I forget him. But I also forget that it's you who gets hurt."   
Hux walked forward and hugged her, and she wrapped her thin arms around his neck. "It's alright, Aila."   
"Did he do anything last night? I mean, I can see your eye, but-"  
"No. He just gave me a good punch."   
The siblings separated and Hux smiled a little.   
"Where did you get this music?" Aila asked, perking her head up as a new track came on. "This is Bruce Springsteen."   
"My friend gave it to me."   
"Phasma?" She asked while pulling Hux to the carpet.    
"No, Ren."   
Aila started to dance a little, leading her brother to join her. "Ren? Who's that?"   
Hux laughed a little. "I don't really know who he is. He wears eyeliner and puts pins through his skin."   
"Ew,"  
"And he's at least six foot three, yet he wears platform shoes."   
"Is he queer?" Aila twirled herself under Hux's arm.   
Hux frowned. "I don't think so. Brendol asked the same thing."   
She laughed loudly over the music. "Dad asked him if he was queer?"  
"Yes, to his face. Mother was not pleased."   
Suddenly lights moved across the walls and Hux froze. "They're home."   
The two quickly grabbed the cassette and ran downstairs to Hux's room.   
Aila climbed into his bed and he kicked off his shoes and turned off the lights. They sat in silence while listening to their parents walk inside.   
"Brendol, please. Be reasonable."   
"I am. The academy opens in the summer, which gives him time to graduate school."   
"Yes, but he's young! He wants to go to university! He wants to skate!"   
"I suppose they're talking about you," Aila whispered.   
"Yes," Hux said, pinching his arm. The academy? Was he going to be forced to go to military school?   
"Alana, I'll have no more of it. He's my son, and I will decide what he does with his life. Someone will have to take over the academy, and it certainly won't be that girl you claim is ours."  
"Aila is just going through a rough time, she'll be better after you stop-"   
"Enough!"   
Aila and Hux both flinched as they heard their mother fall to the ground.   
"He's getting worse," Aila whispered again. "He never used to hit Mum so much."   
"I'll be damned if I let him take me to the academy." Hux clenched his fists. "I refuse to go."   
"He'll make you."  
"Not if I leave as soon as I graduate. By then I'll be allowed to move out and get a place, if I get Mother to sign to paperwork."   
"Will she agree to it?"   
"She'll have to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you feel the love tonighttt  
> Thank you for reading this shit  
> I hate myself for writing crap lmao  
> What will happen who knows not me


	5. Five - So You Think You're A Man

Kylo 

"Ben, sweetie, I hope pasta is alright with your friend."   
Kylo looked up from his X-Men comic. He was in the middle of an intense battle between Phoenix and the superheroes, and had asked not to be disturbed.   
"He's not really my friend, Mom. I just met him."   
"Well, as long as he likes pasta. When is he coming?"   
Kylo looked up at the clock above the oven. "About fifteen minutes."   
Leia nodded and continued stirring the sauce in the pot. The front door opened and heads turned to see Han and Lando laughing and taking off their coats.   
"I did her good! She couldn't walk!" Lando looked up to see Leia staring at him from the kitchen. "Girl, always a pleasure! Smells good in here."   
"Yeah, what are you making?" Han stepped into the room and rubbed his hands together.   
"Han, Ben is having someone over tonight, remember? We discussed this."   
"Oh, shit," he looked at Kylo, who was still seated at the couch with his comic book. "Sorry, son."   
"Man, should we leave?" Lando gestured to the door.   
Leia nodded. "Yes-"  
"No," Han laughed. "It'll be fine, we can pop some cool ones later."   
Kylo watched his mother grip the spoon tightly. "Darling, I really think maybe you should not be here. Ben and his friend are doing a school paper, and I don't want any bad impressions.."   
"Ok, ok, geez." Han walked over to his wife and planted a kiss on her cheek. "I'll be back later. Don't wait up."  
Kylo and his mother watched as the two men left, and suddenly the smoke alarm went off. Leia whipped around to see her sauce bubbling and smoking.   
"Oh, Ben, get the alarm, will you?" She waved at the smoke while taking the pot off of the stove. Kylo grabbed a stool and a dish rag and waved the smoke away from the annoyingly loud smoke detector. He continued to do it until the machine stopped beeping, and he looked over to his mother who was holding the burnt pot in her hands.   
"Honey, I'm sorry. I really am."   
"That's alright," he said, stepping down from the stool.   
The doorbell rang, and Kylo quickly walked to the door and opened it. Hux was wearing a casual dress shirt and a bitter expression.   
"Hello, Ren."   
"Hey,"   
"Is the house on fire?"   
"Huh?"   
Hux gestured with his chin into the house. "I could hear the alarm from down the street."  
"You walked here?"   
"Yes-"  
Leia appeared in the doorway with a smile. "Hello, you must be...Hux, was it?" She offered her hand. "Are you Brendol and Alana's son?"   
Hux shook it and nodded professionally. "I am, yes, Ma'am. A pleasure to meet you."   
"Come in, come in." She shoved Kylo aside and Hux walked into the house. Kylo could see his expression morph into something unfamiliar. As Leia walked back into the kitchen, Kylo smirked and nudged the other boy.   
"I told you it was different."   
Hux looked at his arm where Kylo had touched him as if it had just been infected with a deadly fungus. "Your house is very..cozy."   
Kylo had to admit he despised the floral couches, the bland, redwood furniture, the pink carpeting..it was distasteful, even for them. But the house did have a welcoming vibe that was always in the air, if you put aside the constant parental feuds.   
"I have to apologize for the food burning," Leia offered, scraping wasted food into the rubbish bin. "Ben, why don't you order some pizza? I'll pay."   
Hux frowned and looked at Kylo, who cringed. "Sure, Mom. One minute."   
"Ben?" Hux chuckled. "I thought-"   
"Yeah, yeah. I mean, you already knew Ren wasn't my real last name, why did you think my first name was any different?"   
Hux continued to smirk. "I suppose I knew, it just never occurred to me that you could be called by anything else. Benjamin Skywalker-Solo..hmm."   
"There's a reason I changed it."   
"I'll keep calling you Ren, if that's alright."   
"That's fine."   
"Ben, the pizza?" Leia called.  
"Right," Kylo picked up the phone and dialled the number he knew off by heart. It wasn't the first time dinner had been ruined and he had long since memorized it. "Are you ok with cheese?"   
Hux looked up and shrugged. "Sure."   
Kylo ordered the pizza and grabbed some cash from his mother's wallet. "Let's wait outside for the guy."

Hux

They sat outside on the front step while watching the sun set over the roof tops of the other shabby houses and Ren looked deep in thought. He was playing with the safety pin again.   
"I brought back your tape."   
Ren perked up. "Oh? Did you listen to it?"   
"Yes,"   
"And?"  
"I liked it. I didn't care for a few songs, though."   
"Like what?"  
Hux thought for a moment. "Search and Destroy, There is a Light That Never Goes Out.."  
"You liked Just Like Heaven, right?" Ren tugged the pin again.   
"It was alright."   
"Alright? That songs is one of the best songs in the world. Classic Cure!" Ren threw his hands up. "It has the best intro out of any song in the history of songs!"   
The redhead smirked a little, enjoying Ren's enthusiasm. "I don't see what separates it from other song introductions."   
"Ugh, here." Ren reached in his pocket and pulled out his Walkman. Hux passed him the mixed tape and they both leaned into the headphones and listened to the song start to play. Hux noted that Ren smelled faintly of rose water, yet it didn't seem feminine. It suited it him, almost.  
"Do you hear that?" Ren asked. "It's a layered intro. Adding different noises on top of others progressively. Best. Intro. Ever. Do you get it now?"   
"Alright, I understand." Hux turned to look at the scooter coming down the road with a Domino's logo on the back. Ren payed the delivery boy and walked back to the door carrying a box of pizza.   
They grabbed some slices and went upstairs to Ren's bedroom. Before they entered, Ren paused.   
"Ignore the mess."   
Walking inside, Hux cringed at the piles of laundry on the floor and desk chair. There was various band posters around the room, plus a lot of drawings. Good drawings. Hux tried to subtly look at them, but Ren noticed and walked up beside him.   
"They're pretty bad, I've never gotten lessons. We can't afford them."   
"These are excellent, Ren." One was of a child crying, while two figures in the background appeared to be fighting. Another was of a girl who looked vaguely familiar. Someone from school, maybe?   
"Who's this?"  
"Mm?" Ren looked up from his dinner. "Oh, that's my friend, Rey. If I can get her to stay still long enough, she's really pretty and a good model."   
"Oh," Hux felt something unfamiliar in his stomach. "Is she your girlfriend?"   
Ren laughed. "No, she's just a close friend. And a free spirit."   
Hux continued to stare at the various drawings of plants, flowers, people, shapes and designs, until he noticed another odd one.   
"Ren.."   
"Are you still looking? Come're and I'll give you another tape. This one has-"  
"Is this Poe Dameron?"   
Ren stood up so quickly that Hux almost fell backwards. Ren looked worried; angry, too. The drawing was a very detailed one. It was defiantly of Poe. The charming smile, the hair and jawline..the drawing was of him leaning against something while shirtless. He had his arms crossed across his chest and he was grinning.   
"Please, don't." Ren pulled the drawing off the wall.   
"I'm not judging, Ren. If you're-"  
"I'm not fucking queer, ok? He's my friend and I wanted to draw him, that doesn't make me a homo."   
Hux was surprised and didn't know how to respond. Frankly, he didn't even want to.  
"Alright."   
"Now, do you want another tape or not?"   
They sat down on the red carpet beside the pile of cassettes that had been carefully stacked into a mountain. Hux was concerned they would topple over as Ren rifled through them, but his careful hands did not upset the tapes' balance.   
"Here," Ren stuck a tape in the other's hand. "More stuff. You can..um, you can keep it. It's a present."   
"Oh,"  
"Yeah."  
"I see."  
"Yep."  
"You don't want it back?"  
"No, it's a present."  
"Oh,"  
"Yeah."  
"Ren?"  
Ren shifted a little. "Yes?"  
"Would you like to hang out tomorrow?"   
"Sure." 

Ren 

Kylo could just imagine what Hux would write in his paper for English. He could picture Hux at a fancy glass table with a quill; writing his essay.   
'I went to Ren's house,' it would say. 'His family is falling apart, his father is a player and his mother is a broken mess, and Ren, or Ben, shall I say, is a flaming homosexual who deserves nothing in life.'   
Of course, Kylo knew Hux would never actually write anything remotely close to that, but after the embarrassing situation with the drawing, he wasn't so sure.   
The drawing hadn't really been for his own pleasure. Kylo had been Ben at the time, about a year beforehand.   
It had been a summer day spent in the inflatable pool in the Skywalker-Solos' backyard. Poe had been invited over and him and Ben spent the whole day relishing in the sun.   
Once inside, Ben had watched Poe laughing about something and had noticed how nice he looked in the afternoon sun; grinning, still dripping water, and perfectly tanned. Ben had told him to stay leaning against the doorframe and had ran to grab a camera.   
He waited two weeks to get it developed, then drew his sketch from the picture. The picture was in a box under Kylo's bed, hidden way amongst other private things.   
He had shown the drawing to Poe, who had liked it but said he couldn't keep it or else people would wonder who drew it.   
Kylo had kept it on his wall, knowing that his parents rarely went into his room, and even if they did, there was so much crap everywhere they wouldn't even notice. How Hux noticed was beyond him, but Kylo didn't bother questioning it.   
Kylo write his essay. He compared his life to Hux's, explaining how Hux lived a rich and pampered lifestyle with a cook and his own floor, whereas Kylo had the smallest room in the house and was lucky if he could have some soup for dinner without anything going wrong. He left out what had happened between Hux, Brendol, and Aila, realizing that it was a private situation and hoped that Hux would appreciate that.   
He handed it in the next day, and got it back with a big C+ for his poor grammar and spelling. Hux told him he had received an A+ on his for the essay on Ren's life.   
Kylo wished his life was worth an A+, but he knew it never was and never would be.


	6. Six - Opportunities

Hux 

The next few weeks Ren and Hux spent a lot of time together. Almost never at each other's houses (for obvious reasons), and Ren continued to spit out mixed tapes for the other. Hux often pondered how much time his new friend took out of his day to make the cassettes. Surely not a lot, because Hux wasn't worth more than a few minutes.   
He leaned down and tied his skate tightly until it was like a second skin on his ankle. His coach, Anderson, walked past and gave a friendly smile. Hux nodded in response, then stood. He could already feel the ice beneath him, the slight chill on his cheeks.   
As he stepped onto the rink, Anderson blew his whistle and called for warm up. The other team members started to stretch and do various moves to the quiet music that played in the background. Hux leaned down and touched his toes, then reached for the ceiling. He pushed off one foot and started to skate in little circles to warm up his feet. He closed his eyes a little and let the feeling flow through him. His passion couldn't be stopped and he flew through the air and landed gracefully. He swirled to avoid bumping into a teammate, and she turned around and landed flat on her bottom.   
"Hey, jackass! Why don't you stop showing off and watch where you're going?"   
Hux skidded to a halt and offered a hand. "I'm sorry,"   
"Shut up," she snapped while her friend pulled her up. Suddenly he was surrounded by three boys and the girl. He knew their names (James, Gum, Trevor, and Uma), and he knew that they hated him. Why? Most likely because of his background and excellent skating skills.   
"You heard her, Carrot Top," Gum crossed his arms, "What should you say?"   
"I already apolo-"  
Trevor shoved Hux onto the ice. Hux hit the back of his head and immediately felt the bump to check for blood. "Shut up!" Trevor yelled.  
"Hey, hey!" Coach Anderson shoved past the others and lent a hand to Hux. "You alright? What's going on?"   
"Nothing," Hux replied quickly, shooting a glance at the group. "I slipped." 

Ren 

"So do you want to come?"   
Kylo stared at Rey for a moment. Did he want to go to Poe's party? It seemed like a lot of effort to go on a weekend to a party he wouldn't even enjoy.   
"You can bring that guy you're always hanging with,"   
Kylo shot her a look and she shrugged. Running his hand through his hair, he sighed.   
"I guess I can come." 

That evening Kylo climbed out of his bedroom window and walked the few streets to Hux's house. He saw that Hux's light was still on and quietly opened the huge iron gate. He closed it behind him and made his way to the lit up window. Tapping against it, Kylo looked around to make sure nobody had seen him.   
Suddenly the glass opened and a shaggy looking girl with bleached hair and huge earring poked her was out.   
"Ah!" She yelped. "Armie, Death is at your window."  
Kylo cocked his head. "Huh? Um, where's Hux?"   
Something inside him hoped that this druggie wasn't Hux's secret girlfriend or something. Yet, she looked like she could be related to him..her high cheekbones and light freckles looked familiar.   
"Are you Aila?" He asked.  
She nodded and popped her bubblegum. "At your service. Are you Ren?"   
"Yes,"   
"Ren?" Hux's voice came from inside and then his head was outside too. "What are you doing?"   
"I'm waiting to talk to you."   
Hux looked back into his room. "Okay. Come in."   
The two moved out of the way and Kylo climbed into the bedroom, trying to make the least amount of noise possible. He glanced around the large space, frowning at all the clothes that were on the ground.   
"What are you doing?" He inquired, placing his bag on the carpet.   
Aila did a little twirl and laughed. "We're organizing my clothes. He thinks I should dress more nicely, while I think my dresses are just fine."   
Kylo leaned down and picked up a garment. It looked more like a square cloth than a dress. "Right,"   
"Well, Ren, why are you here then?"   
"I wanted to see if, umm..if you wanted.."  
Aila raised an eyebrow and sat on the bed crossed legged. Hux mirrored the expression.   
Kylo cleared his throat. "There's a party, tomorrow night, and I don't really want to go but my friend has asked me. I'll be alone because I don't know anyone, but you could come..if you want."   
"Oh, a party! Darling, you have to go!" Aila tugged on her brother's arm. Kylo bit the inside of his cheek hard. He hoped Hux wouldn't think it was some dumb attempt at furthering their friendship (which he supposed it was).   
"Why not just take one of your more popular friends? They would obviously enjoy themselves more than I would-"  
"But I'm not asking them, I'm asking you."   
The room filled with silence, other than the quiet purring of the orange cat - what was its name again? - who sat on the bed.   
"Alright." Hux nodded. "I assume it's not a formal party, but more of a-"  
"A rave? Yes. It's at Poe Dameron's house. I'll come and get you." 

Hux 

After Ren left, Aila jumped up and down and threw a pillow across the room. "I can't believe it! He's just as I imagined him! Why would you even hesitate to go to a party with him?"   
"I'm not sure what you mean," Hux said as he scooped up the pillow from the ground.   
"Not sure what I..Armitage," Aila sat down on floor, "he's cute, he's semi polite, and he actually enjoys spending time with you. So again, why would you even hesitate?"   
Hux scowled a little. "I'm friends with him simply because I want to be. There's no dedication or anything like that. I can make my own choices. Now, I'm going to bed." He stood in his doorway and gestured to the stairs. "If you'll please."   
His sister inhaled sharply. "You're making me sleep upstairs?"   
"This is my room and yours is upstairs-"  
"You're just mad because I pointed out that you have a chance with-"  
"Aila, shut up and get out-"  
"And you are falling in love with this guy-"  
"Aila-"  
"And you're scared because you don't want to be a queer-"  
"Get out!"   
Her lip trembled and she ran past him, pushing him in the chest on her way. Her feet stomped up the stairs and Hux slammed his door closed. He climbed under his sheets and sighed, then carefully picked up Millie and hugged her close.   
He felt the sore bump on the back of his head and felt like crying. He hated that he had to be on a team, he worked better alone. He wondered where Phasma had been since she wasn't at practice. He would have to remember to ask her tomorrow. His eyelids began to feel heavy and Hux slowly drifted off. 

"What do you mean you're quitting?"  
Phasma adjusted the strap of her gym bag. "Listen, Hux, I'm sorry, but I've got basketball, rugby, and boxing. I don't have time for skating."  
"But-"  
"The coach hates me! I'm not made for graceful shit like that. I'll still come for the final performance, I promise. Okay?"   
Hux looked at his feet and sighed. "I guess. Thank you for being honest."   
The redhead started to walk towards his next class and he began to fear his next skating practice. Phasma was his protection, and now the idiots would be ganged against him. This weighed heavy on his mind. Why should he have to fear doing what he loved? With his luck, he thought, it only seemed right that yet another thing would go wrong.   
Hux rounded a corner and bumped into Aila, who looked awful. Her tube top had a stain on it (which could only be beer), and her makeup was smeared beyond repair.   
"Aila-" he started, but she shoved past him and hurried down the corridor. He watched her go, and briefly thought about following her, but decided against it. She needed time alone, and she was actually at school today, so that was good. He wasn't sure how to feel about how he had acted the night before. On one hand, she shouldn't have been making comments about his personal life, but on the other hand, she was partly right. 

Ren

Kylo was slipping his Watchmen shirt on over his head when the phone rang. He jogged down the stairs and answered on the third ring.  
"Yeah?"   
"Is this Ren?"  
"Uh huh. Hux?"  
"Yes?"  
"What?"   
"Pardon?"   
Kylo groaned. "You called. What's up? I'm coming to get you in like half an hour."  
"Well, that's it. I'm..um,"  
"You're not cancelling, right?"   
"No, no..I just..I don't really have the right sort of clothing for an outing like this." Hux coughed.   
"Just wear a tee shirt."   
"I don't own any."  
Kylo paused. "What do you wear to bed then?"   
"Proper pyjamas."  
"Huh," Kylo shoved a grape in his mouth from the bowl on the table. "I'll be over in, like, ten minutes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoo sorry it's been awhile since I updated..I was trying to plan it out and I've been busy.   
> It's kinda short so I'm sorry but the next chapter is the party and that will be cool and awesome so yeah also there's all this stuff about Yuri on Ice and I wanted to point out that I started writing this fic before it came out and I'm totally not trying to copy anything like it. I've only scene the first two episodes anyways so no worries I have a whole different story picked out for Hux and his skating hobby


	7. Seven - I Wish I Were You

Ren

Kylo walked quickly with his hands shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket. He arrived at Hux's window and tapped against it lightly. It opened and he climbed over the sill and into the room.  
With a frown on his face, Hux was standing with his hands on his hips.   
"Hey," Kylo took off his backpack. "I brought you a shirt. It's an older one from when I was a bit younger, but that's because you would have been swimming in one of my current ones." Kylo bit his cheek, as he worried about Hux's reaction to being offered 'peasant' clothing.   
Hux held out his hand and took the shirt. He inspected it and did an almost-smile.   
"Thank you, Ren."   
It was a simple black shirt with "Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds" written across the front in white letters. Hux stood awkwardly while holding the garment.  
"What?" Kylo put his bag back on.   
"Are you going to turn around?" The redhead finger's twitched a little.  
Kylo nodded and turned around. A few seconds later Hux appeared in front of him wearing the shirt and a black cardigan. "Let's go."

Hux

There was something interesting in wearing Ren's shirt. He liked that it smelled clean, even though Ren had admitted to it being old.   
They snuck out of the house and walked down the back alley.   
"There's going to be..drugs, and things, right?" Hux tucked a stray hair back in place.   
"I guess," Ren swayed a little. "But nobody will make you do anything."   
Hux simply nodded in response and didn't talk until they arrived at Poe's house.  
The music could be heard from down the street, and teenagers were drunk on the lawn, making out on the roof, and smoking on the porch. There were lights flashing from inside the house, and a lot of cheering. Hux tried to imagine what it would be like to host a party like that on his street. There was no way his neighbours would put up with it.   
"What if the police show up?" Hux asked Ren as they walked up the driveway, swerving to avoid a cha-cha line of high partyers.   
"They won't," Ren explained. "He has these parties all the time."   
Inside it was muggy and loud. The dancing bodies filled the rooms and there was bottles and garbage everywhere.   
Hux suddenly felt very uncomfortable as people looked at him while he walked past. He reached forward and tugged on the leather sleeve of Ren's jacket.   
"I don't think I'm welcome here,"  
"Huh?" He turned around and Hux looked into his friend's eyes. They were dark brown, like melted chocolate, and surrounded in dark eyeliner.   
"Hux, you were invited. Of course you're welcome." Then Ren grabbed Hux by the wrist and weaved through the crowd until they reached the living room, where there were less people.   
Rey, Jessika, Finn, and Poe sat on a couch together, and Ren froze a little.  
"Shit," he mumbled, and went to turn around.  
"Ben!" Poe called out. Hux noticed that Poe's hand was wrapped around Finn's.   
Ren released Hux's wrist and nodded awkwardly. "Hey,"  
"Come sit down," Rey got up and moved to a chair, leaving the love seat for Hux and Ren. After sitting down, Hux picked at his pants nervously. He could feel his forehead getting hot, and his fingers were twitching.  
I shouldn't have come. This was a bad idea.   
"This is Hux," Ren said, gesturing to the redhead.   
Poe grinned his signature grin. "Hey, I'm Poe, this is Finn, Rey, and Jess. I mean, you probably know that, but it's nice to formally meet you."   
"Likewise," Hux replied politely.   
Suddenly someone burst into the room, a bigger fellow, who Hux had seen hanging out with Poe before.   
"Poe! We gotta an OD-er!"   
"Fuck," he jumped from his seat, and the others followed.   
"Who is it?" Rey asked.  
The guy snapped his finger, trying to remember. "Lauper chick. Thin, sickly. What's-her-face."   
"Aila," Hux spoke up, suddenly standing with worry.   
"Yeah, that's her."   
Hux shoved past everyone, ignoring Ren calling his name. There was a circle of drunk teens and Hux managed to get into the middle. Aila was on the ground, foaming at the mouth and sweat dripping down her face.  
"Someone call an ambulance!" He cried, and held his sister's head in his lap. "What was she doing?"   
"She tried coke," someone piped up.   
Hux had no idea what to do. He had never been in a situation like this, and he knew nothing about drugs. Why had Aila even been here? She must have snuck in or known a mutual.   
The faint sound of a siren getting closer made Hux pick Aila up and make his way outside, hoping it wouldn't be too late.

Ren

It was surprising to see Poe openly caressing Finn's hand.   
He felt a ping of jealousy, not because he liked Poe anymore or cared that Poe liked Finn, but because when they had something, it was a big secret. Maybe it wasn't the homosexual part that Poe was hiding, but the Ben part. Because Poe didn't want anyone knowing he was kissing a freak like Ben.   
When Snap had run into the room saying Aila had overdosed, Ren jumped up to follow Hux. It was hard to manoeuvre through the crowd of people to where Hux was holding his sister. The redhead was trying to carry Aila outside, presumably to meet the ambulance. Ren stepped in front of him and offered his arms.  
"I'll take her," he said, and scooped the thin girl into his grasp.   
He pushed past people and felt like a real knight in shining armour as the paramedics pulled up and hopped out of the vehicle.   
"She snorted coke," Hux explained frantically.   
They put her on a stretcher and placed her in the back of the ambulance. Hux tried to climb in, and the paramedic stopped him.  
"Meet us there," he said gruffly.   
They slammed the door closed and drove away, and Hux yelled in frustration. Ren watched from the side, not really sure how to deal with his friend's anger. It was painful, almost, to see the thin boy crying out in anger. Teenagers who walked past stared and mumbled to each other.   
"Fuck," Hux wiped a stray tear from his cheek with the sleeve of his sweater.   
Kylo placed a hand on the other's shoulder. "Should we go and tell your parents?"   
The redhead laughed and shrugged Kylo away. "Let me explain this to you, Ren. If Aila makes it, if she lives, my parents will kill her when they find out. No matter how we deal with this, she's dead. Or will be." He coughed as someone near them smoked a cigarette. "On top of that, I'll be beaten for going to the party and letting her go."  
"Did you say beaten?" Kylo frowned.   
"I can't go to the hospital, they'll ask our parents' names." He ignored what Kylo had asked, which made Kylo worry even more.   
Hux sighed. "I suppose I'll have to wait until tomorrow."   
"Where will you go tonight?" Kylo asked while pulling his hood over his head. It was especially chilly, for a spring night.   
"I don't know, I don't want to go back home."   
"You could come with me to my uncle's, as long as your dad doesn't come through the wall on a tank once he sees you're not home."   
Hux paused. "Your uncle's?"  
Kylo shrugged. "It would be better than my house." 

Hux

The night hair chilled Hux and made goosebumps on his pale skin. He wrapped his arms around himself, hoping that it wouldn't rain while him and Ren walked down the large dirt road.   
With a small scowl, Hux looked at his shoes that were getting dustier by the step.   
"Are you cold?" Ren asked.  
Hux nodded. "I didn't expect it to be so frigid."   
Suddenly there was a weight on his shoulders, and he realized that Ren had placed the leather jacket around him. Hux slipped his arms into the holes and smiled, just a little. "Thank you,"   
"You should wear leather more often."  
"My father would have a heart attack."   
"Wouldn't that be a good thing?" They both chuckled, and Ren gestured forward. "That's Luke's house."   
It was a dull brown on the outside, and there were mandalas and beads in the windows. A strong scent hit Hux's nose.   
Lavender.   
Now he knew why he could always smell it on Ren.   
The thought made Hux smile to himself.   
Ren tapped on the door, and after a few minutes, a light turned on and a man opened the door.   
He had a gray beard and a peaceful vibe about him.   
"Ben," his voice was soft. "Is something wrong?"   
"No," Ren replied. "But can we stay here tonight? It was more convenient."   
Luke opened the door fully and the two stepped inside the house. Hux knocked into a flower pot but caught it quickly.   
"Who's your friend?" Luke kept his hands clasped in front of him.   
"This is Hux," Ren replied. "We're going to go upstairs."   
The went into the spare room on the top floor, that appeared to just be a second bedroom for Ren. It was a little bigger than the other one, but just as messy.  
"Sorry, we don't have maids." Ren joked as if he had read Hux's mind.   
Hux sat in the side of the bed. "I can sleep on the floor."   
"No, that's fine," Ren was already laying down a blanket. "I don't mind the rug."   
The redhead slipped off his shoes and socks, then took off his sweater. He looked at his pants and shirt.   
"Shall I take these off?"  
"What?" Ren looked up. "Take off..take off your clothes?"   
"I don't want to sleep in these pants, and I wouldn't want to ruin your shirt."   
The red on Ren's cheeks was visible from across the room. "Do whatever you want."   
"I'm wearing boxers,"  
"Okay, like I said," Ren shrugged. "Do whatever you want."   
Hux stood up. "Could you turn around?"   
"Why?" Ren stood up too, and Hux had forgotten the height advantage that the other boy had.   
"Because I asked you to," Hux managed as he backed up.   
Ren eyes were intense, but also sad. "Hux , I'm not stupid. I've put two and two together."   
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just asking-" the backs of his knees hit the bed and he almost fell backwards.   
Ren stopped walking forward, inches from Hux. He could smell the lavender, see the chocolate eyes, feel his breath.   
"How bad are the scars?" Ren whispered.   
Hux's breath hitched and he shook his head. "Not that bad,"   
"Lemme see."   
Carefully, Hux turned around and removed the shirt. 

Ren

Now that he stood so close the Hux, Kylo could see the light freckles that painted his skin. He hadn't noticed them before.   
It hadn't taken long for Ren to realize that Brendol beat his kids. There was the few times that Hux arrived the school with bruises, but he always blamed them on being clumsy.   
After Hux had refused to change in front of Kylo (and of course, he could have just not been comfortable with it, but there was something else), Kylo put the piece in place.   
Everyone had heard of the "hit with a belt" story, but never had it occurred to Ren that that was actually happening.   
And now, Kylo looked down at Hux's back.   
It was pale, like the rest of him, but the scars. The scars were horrible. Deep and not, they were everywhere. Some seemed more faded than others, and there were a few that were still raw.   
Some freckles were poking through, mostly around his shoulders.  
"Jesus Christ, Hux," Kylo placed a hand on the other's back.   
Hux flinched and turned around. Ren noticed that the redhead's ribs were clearly visible. Did he eat? Did his mother know about all this? What about Aila? Was this happening to her, too?   
Tears formed in Hux's eyes and he lowered his head. "Don't- Ren....I.."   
Kylo engulfed the other in a tight embrace. He liked the scent of Hux's shampoo. It smelled expensive.   
Somehow they managed to lie down, still in each other's arms. Kylo's thumbs traced circles on Hux's back, and Hux gripped Kylo's shirt tightly.   
They laid awake for quite awhile, in the safety of the other one's warmth.   
Eventually Kylo could hear Hux's soft snores and he, too, closed his eyes, knowing that Hux was safe.   
For now.


	8. Eight - Love Etc

Hux

Something was warm behind the redhead, and touching his waist.   
Behind him, Ren slept and breathed warm air into Hux's ear.   
He slowly unraveled Ren from around him (he's so large, he thought, as he felt small underneath his touch), and stood up.   
The room was cold, which Hux found odd, what with all the candles that were lit around the house. He pulled on a hoodie that was lying on the ground, and zipped it to conceal his shivering chest. The sleeves came past his fingertips and he could probably fit another person inside the sweater, but it worked.   
He walked to the large window that was across the room from the bed, and stared into the greenery that was behind the wood cottage.  
"Trees," he mumbled to himself with a small smile.   
Of course, he had seen trees before, but Hux had lived in the same mansion on his comfy little street his whole life, and he had never stood in a real forest before.   
While being quiet, Hux snuck down the stairs and slipped on his shoes, then walked out the open beaded doorway to the outdoors.   
He breathed in deeply, enjoying the fresh smell of mud and pine, which is something he never thought he would enjoy.   
His shoes, that were already dusty from the walk to Luke's, now sank into the moist dirt. Hux scowled, but continued walking.   
There was peace here; no parents, no school, no drugs and alcohol, no sisters or hospitals or worries.   
Just...calm. 

Ren 

Kylo cracked open an eye, then yawned loudly. He suddenly got a terrible feeling and shot up in bed.   
Where was Hux?  
His stomach felt sick with the idea that Hux woke up, realized what he was doing, with Ren, and then left.   
He quickly jumped from his sheets and yanked on a pair of sneakers, then walked downstairs.   
"Hux?" He called, looking around the living room. He went into the kitchen to find the back door wide open, and there was no noise except the soft sound of beads hitting each other in the doorway.   
Kylo stepped into the backyard, which was mostly thick brush, but to the left, there was a patch of land that was evenly spaced trees. Luke claimed that they grew like that naturally, but when he was younger, Ben had always assumed that it was one of his uncle's weird hippie things.   
"Hux!" Kylo called, then heard a twig snap.  
He looked the trees and saw, faintly, a bit of orange.   
With relief, Ren made his way to the other, who stood calmly with his eyes shut, wearing a black hoodie and boxers.  
"How did you know where I was?" Hux asked quietly without opening his eyes.   
Ren smiled a little. "I saw your hair."   
"Ugh," Hux looked up, finally, and touched his head. "I would rather have any other colour."   
"For hair?" Kylo asked, then shrugged. "I mean, I dunno, I kinda like it."   
Hux continued to look at Ren blankly.   
Kylo scratched his cheek. "So what were you doing?"   
"Meditating."  
"Really?"   
"No, more like resting my mind. I was fascinated by your uncle, so I thought I would give it a shot."   
"Did it help?"  
Hux chuckled. "No. I still have to deal with Aila."   
Kylo nodded, then walked and stood beside the shorter boy. "Will you be going soon, then?"   
Hux looked up with a small but sad smile. He reached forward and clasped Kylo's hand in his own.   
"Would you come?"   
"T-to the hospital?" Kylo looked down at their hands together. Hux's was so small, so pale, compared to his own.   
Delicate.   
That's what it was.  
Hux just kept staring, and Kylo couldn't help but stare back- Hux's eyes were just so easily enchanting.   
"Sure," Ren nodded again, "I'll come." 

Hux 

Hux denied himself any thought towards whatever gay shit had just happened.   
He walked faster than normal, which wasn't any problem for Ren, who seemed to keep up with ease.   
His shoes, which were obviously ruined beyond repair with all the mud and dust caked on them, were kicking rocks and dirt as they made their way back down the crappy road towards town.   
Kylo appeared unfazed by the whole situation at Luke's. He kept his gaze ahead, his stupid makeup smeared and faded around his eyes. Somehow, Hux had never really taken in Ren's face before.   
The birthmarks, his drooped eyelids, strong jaw and large nose.   
Maybe he had noticed before.   
But every time he looked, it was like he noticed something new. Almost like watching a movie. You notice little things you never saw before, little details just for those who pay attention.   
And Hux liked paying attention.   
"What?" Ren suddenly spoke.   
The redhead was brought back to earth. "What?"  
"You were staring at me."  
"Oh."  
"And?"  
"Sorry."  
Ren smiled. A genuine one. "It's okay."   
From behind, the sound of a car came, and Hux and Ren stepped to the side.   
It was an old van, and the window rolled down to reveal Ren's uncle.   
"You left without saying goodbye," Luke said, but he didn't actually sound hurt.   
"Sorry," Ren replied casually. "You were sleeping."   
"Where are you going?" Luke scratched his beard, which reminded Hux of Brendol. He shook off the thought.   
"Hospital."   
Luke gave them a look.  
"To see my sister," Hux stepped in.   
"Hop in, I'll give you a ride."   
The boys slid open the back doors and climbed into the van.   
It was red and dusty, much like the road itself, and the inside smelled like herbs and fruit.   
The ride was rather quiet, other than the occasional comment from Luke.   
Once at the hospital, Ren thanked his uncle for the ride, and Hux stood, looking up at the beige building.   
"She's fine, I'm sure," Ren looked around awkwardly.   
They walked up to the from desk and waited for the nurse to acknowledge their presence.   
She didn't, until Hux cleared his throat.   
"Oh, I'm sorry, we just had a bit of a situation. Lots of stuff. How can I-"  
"Aila Hux," he said quietly. He didn't know if her name would even be in the system. She may have not told them. "She's tall, thin, came in last night?"   
"Yes, I know who she is." The nurse bit her lip nervously. "I'm afraid her father came and picked her up."   
"What?" Ren asked, perking up. "Shouldn't she still be recovering?"   
"Well, he picked her up against our advisement," she continued. "He made quite a scene."   
"But she's okay?" Hux prompted.   
"Yes, generally." She shrugged. "Are you friends?"   
"I'm her brother," Hux turned towards the door.   
Ren thanked the nurse, then jogged to catch up. "Where are we going?"   
"My house, but, Ren," Hux turned and put a hand on the other's arm. "Maybe you should not come. In case, well.."   
"Okay." Ren did a deep in take of breath. "You know that bridge by your house? The one that they never finished building?"   
"Yeah,"   
"Meet me there as soon as you can. I'll bring you a tape, and you can tell me how it went."   
"Isn't it missing railings? I don't think it's safe," Hux rubbed his arms, which were getting cold.   
"I go there all the time, it's fine." 

Ren 

Kylo sat with his feet hanging over the edge of the unfinished bridge. He nodded his head to some classic Ramones while picking some loose threads off his sweater.   
Back at home, he had arrived to grab his Walkman and cassette for Hux, and was bombarded with questions. 

"Where were you?" Leia grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back into the living room. "I thought you were gonna be at Poe's for a few hours. Not the whole damn night! Where did you sleep? Were you drunk? Who else was there? Were you lying? Did you know how worried I was, I even called Ms. Dameron! She said she didn't know where you were, and I certainly didn't, and I heard sirens last night so I thought maybe, I don't know, something had happened! I drove around in the Falcon looking for you, and I didn't see you anywhere, so I swear-"  
"Mom." Kylo stopped her rambling by putting his hand on her shoulder. "I was at Luke's with Hux. That's it. We left the party because it was a little too wild, okay? Now I'm just grabbing my Walkman and I'm going to the bridge."   
"Ben, you know how I feel about you being there, it's not safe," she crossed her arms. "And who said you could go out? You're in trouble, young man."   
"I'll be back soon," Kylo kissed her cheek and jogged out the door with his mother calling after him. 

The wind blew gently around Ren now as he sat and watched the water.   
Out of the corner of his eye he saw a figure, than turned to look. Hux stood uncertainly before the bridge.   
"It's a little thin, mm?"   
"What?" Kylo pulled off his headphones.   
"It's not very wide,"   
"Well, it's not for cars, it's for people."   
"I meant, it has no railings, so it's a little thin to walk across with just balance."   
Kylo smirked. "Are you scared?"   
"I don't like heights."   
"Right," he stood up and walked over to offer his hand.   
Hux accepted it, and together they carefully managed their way to the middle, then sat down.   
"Here," Kylo took the cassette out of his Walkman. "I changed things up and added some more Smiths and Smashing Pumpkins."   
"Sounds good," Hux placed the tape in his pocket, and Kylo noticed he was still wearing his hoodie.  
He didn't mind.   
"So-"  
"It went terribly," Hux butt in. "Aila told the doctors at the hospital her name and they called Mother, and Mother told Brendol, then he pulled Aila from the hospital, even though she should have been getting better, and now Brendol has signed her up for a private girls' school in the country, near his goddamn academy. She's leaving tomorrow."   
"That soon?" Kylo asked, shocked.   
Hux nodded. "And Aila is leaving angry at me, because I didn't come to the hospital before Brendol got her."   
"Oh,"  
"Yes."  
"And?"  
"And what?"   
Kylo scoffed. "And what are you going to do about it?"   
"Nothing,"   
"Nothing?"  
Hux sighed deeply. "Yes, Ren, nothing. I can't. You know what Brendol can and will do, and at least if Aila leaves, she'll be safe from him and drugs."   
They both stayed quiet for a few minutes, and Kylo wondered what it would be like to be in his friend's place.   
Horrible, probably.   
"I'll visit, at some point," Hux added quietly. "If I'm not dead before she forgives me."   
"Was that all that happened?"   
"No," he sighed. "My father doesn't want me skating anymore. Or spending time with you."   
"Sorry, what?" Did he say skate?   
Hux looked up calmly. "Oh, right. Ren, I figure skate, and hope to do it professionally. Maybe in the Olympics."   
"What are you talking about?" Kylo frowned, then looked over Hux, who was thin and a bit shorter than himself. He tried to imagine Hux dancing on the ice, or dancing at all.   
"I suppose I forgot to tell you." Hux glanced back down at the rocky river below. "Or I suppose I thought you would think I was...well, y'know."  
"Do you think I would care?"   
"No."  
"Are you not?"  
"I don't know."   
Ren smiled a little. "The more I find out about you, the less I feel I know you. I misjudged you."   
"Is that an insult?"   
"No," he shook his head, "I think it just makes you more interesting."   
Kylo inhaled deeply, then held his breath as he realized Hux was staring up at him. He met the other's eyes, then found himself starting to need air. He breathed out slowly, then back in, and again, could smell Hux's shampoo. He tried to picture the scent, but couldn't put his finger on it. Something fruity.  
He brought a hand up to gently stroke the redhead's high cheek, and he grazed the light freckles that sat on his pale skin.   
Suddenly, Kylo noticed they were pulling themselves closer together, and Hux stopped gripping the bridge to hold Ren's neck, and he was so close, they were right above each other's lips-  
"Oh, shit," Hux suddenly rocked backwards and grabbed Kylo's sleeve roughly to avoid falling, and Kylo quickly grabbed his friend's shoulders to steady themselves.   
"Are you okay?"   
Hux brushed off his pants. "Yes. I told you this wasn't safe."   
"I'm sorry."  
"It's alright, just stop looking like a scolded dog."   
"Yes, sir."


	9. Nine - How Soon Is Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OI  
> IF YOURE EASILY TRIGGERED, DONT READ THIS CHAPTER, AND ILL DO A CHAPTER SUMMARY NEXT CHAPTER  
> AND THOSE WHO DO READ THIS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, BECAUSE THIS IS THE TURNING POINT FOR THE STORY  
> I mean also read the warnings, it tells you in there

Hux

Hux had snuck out of the house to avoid being asked where he was going.   
Of course, his parents weren't stupid; he had skate practice, and though Brendol told him that he wasn't allowed to skate, there was nothing that could stop him.   
He laced up his skates and pulled on his tuque (because his ears got cold on the ice), and then looked out at the rink.   
The coach wasn't on the ice yet, just his teammates.   
James and Trevor were talking to each other while Gum watched Uma stretching.   
Idiots.   
He quietly stepped out and glided gracefully towards the group without saying anything.   
Suddenly James grabbed Hux's arm, almost causing him to fall.  
"Get off," James looked down at Hux with a scowl. "Do you need another warning?"   
The taller boy's features reminded Hux of Ren almost; strong, but in a different way. James had blue eyes, with dark, thin brows, and a short haircut. He was a little taller than Hux (he was two years older), and of course, stronger.  
"Let go," Hux said quietly but sternly, while trying to get out of his grasp.   
The others laughed while they watched, and Hux could do nothing but turn red in shame and anger.   
"Tell Coach I'll be a little late for practice," James said with a small smile, "and that Hux is too sick to come at all."   
He yanked Hux along the ice, and Hux lost his balance and fell to his knees.   
"Ja-James," the redhead wriggled as he was dragged across the floor inside and into the locker room. "Stop it-"  
"Shut up," James kneed Hux in the ribs, causing him to wheeze as he held himself.   
James pushed Hux over a bench, then leaned over him roughly. "I know about you and your little punk boyfriend, fag," he whispered in Hux's ear. "We saw you at Dameron's party. You probably went home and fucked, right?"   
His hand grazed Hux's thigh, and Hux tried to jerk away, desperate and scared.   
"James-"  
"I said, shut up!" He twisted Hux's wrist and a loud crack sounded in the empty room. Hux cried out, not able to stop the tears as they dripped down his cheeks.   
"Stop," he whispered as he clutched his bruising arm.   
He shut his eyes as he felt his pants being pulled down to his knees, and he cried as he could feel James pressed against him, then in him.   
"You little faggot, you probably like this, huh?"   
Hux tried be strong, to think of Ren. His smile, his eyes, his hair, even his stupid makeup and shoes.   
Ren had said that he liked Hux's hair.   
"Stop crying,"  
Ren had said that he thought Hux was interesting.  
"Oh..oh, god.."  
Ren made mixed tapes for him.   
"I said, stop crying."   
Ren had almost kissed him.  
James stood up and zipped up his pants, then laughed quietly.   
"You're pathetic, you know that, right?"   
Hux didn't move. He didn't speak.   
"Don't ever come back here. And of course you won't tell anyone, because then everyone would know what a little whore you are."   
Once alone, Hux managed to crawl off the bench and curl himself in a corner with his back pressed against a locker.   
He shook and cried silently, holding his swollen wrist, not having the strength to do anything else.

Ren

Kylo knocked gently on Hux's window.  
It was still light out, so he hoped that no one saw him standing in the garden, tapping on the window.   
Had Hux liked the most recent tape? He hadn't seen him since the bridge, when they had almost kissed.   
If only Hux hadn't almost fallen to a watery grave.   
He peered into the room, realizing no one was inside. Where was he?   
Slightly sad, Ren shoved his hands into his pockets and started to walk down the street.   
He turned a corner and walked into someone a lot taller than him. He looked up, and realized who it was.  
"Sorry," Phasma looked down at him. "Aren't you Hux's..friend?"   
"Yeah," Kylo swallowed hard. She was a lot less scary when looking at her across the hall. Now, she was wearing hockey gear and carrying a large bag.   
"Do you know where he is?" He asked.   
"The skate team just had practice, maybe he's at the rink." She suggested.  
"Didn't you just have practice?"   
"There's two ice rinks."   
"Oh."  
"I didn't see him there, but I don't know. It's worth checking."   
Kylo veered around her. "Alright, thanks."   
He walked down the street and towards the building that housed the pool and ice rink.   
Why would Hux still be skating? Didn't Brendol say not to?  
Once inside, Kylo looked around but didn't see him anywhere. The last few girls were packing up their equipment and leaving, but Ren didn't see any skaters.   
He opened the boys' locker room and looked around, then froze as he saw Hux sitting on the floor, with his head under his arms and his pants pulled down.  
"Hux?" Kylo said uncertainly.   
The redhead moved a little, then looked up to reveal a tear soaked face.   
"...Ren," he whispered, then held out a hand weakly.  
Kylo quickly got on the floor and kneeled beside his friend.   
"What happened? Are you okay?"  
"No," Hux shook his head, and he lifted his left hand, which was purple and swollen.   
"Did you break it? Hux, what's wrong? Oh my god," Ren gently held the hurt hand, then looked into Hux's eyes.   
Hux looked down, and continued to cry softly. "James..he...he pulled me in here..and I think he broke my arm.." He sniffled loudly, then gasped a little. "He grabbed me and called me a f-fag for..hanging out with..you....and then he..he-"  
Kylo looked at Hux's pants around his ankles, then back at Hux's face.   
It suddenly clicked.  
Who could do something like that? Who could hurt Hux that way?  
"I'll kill him, I'm going to kill him, he's going to pay." Ren clenched his jaw. "Come on, you need a hospital."   
"No, no, Ren, I can't,"   
"What? Why?"   
Hux wiped some tears off his cheek. "Nobody can know. Ever."   
"Hux, what are you talking about? Look at yourself, you need a hospital. We need to tell an adult, like your parents or-"  
"No." Hux shook his head again. "Especially not my parents. Brendol will kill me. Please, Ren, please, don't tell anyone. Never, okay? Please.."   
Kylo watched Hux start to shake more, then start crying again.   
"Okay, I won't tell. But Hux, your wrist-"  
"It'll be fine,"   
Kylo carefully helped Hux put his pants back on, then untie his skates and put on his shoes. Together they walked outside, with Hux's left arm pressed closely against his chest, and his other hand in Kylo's.   
"Do you want to come to my house? My dad isn't home, he's out with a friend."   
"Your mom?"  
"She's home, but probably reading or something. We just got the TV fixed, so she might be watching something."   
"Okay,"

Hux

His wrist hurt so badly, Hux considered just cutting his whole arm off at the shoulder.   
They walked through the front door of Ren's home, which he hadn't been in since the time he came over for dinner.   
Leia, who was wearing a large sweater and holding a cup of something, sat watching Wheel of Fortune.  
"Hello, boys. How are you?"   
"Great," Ren smiled a little. "We're going upstairs, okay?"   
"Sure thing. Hux, are you alright? You look a little-"   
"I'm fine. Just tired." Hux replied quickly. "I like your sweater."   
"Oh," she blushed and touched her chest. "Thank you."   
They made their way up to Ren's room, and Hux quickly dropped onto Ren's bed with a sigh.   
"Ren?"   
"Yes," the other turned around.   
"I liked the tape. I really liked that one track by the Smiths."  
"How Soon Is Now? I like that one, too. Here, one second,"   
Ren looked around his floor briefly, then through his stack of cassettes. He finally grabbed one, then popped it into his stereo, and picked a track.   
The familiar song filled the air, and Hux smiled, just a little.   
'So shut your mouth, how can you say, I go about things the wrong way?'   
Ren sat beside Hux on the bed, and the redhead sat up.   
"I'm so sorry about what happened to you," Ren said quietly. "I'll find James and-"  
"No," Hux shook his head. "I can take care of things myself."   
"What? How-"  
"Shh," Hux touched Ren's cheek, like Ren had done to him on the bridge. "I know exactly how to get back at him."


	10. Ten - Ceremony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY QUICK SUMMARY  
> so if you didn't read the last chapter, I'll sum it up for you.   
> Hux goes to skate practice against his father's wishes, but once there, James (one of the other teammates, in case you've forgotten), proceeds to drag Hux into the boys locker room, and rape Hux and hurt Hux's wrist quite badly in the process. James tells Hux to never come back to the rink, and he calls him a fag for hanging out with Ren.   
> Kylo then goes to Hux's house, but when he isn't there, Kylo bumps into Phasma who tells him that the skate team just had practice.  
> Kylo finds Hux in the locker room and tries to convince him to tell an adult what happened, but Hux makes Ren promise to never tell anyone.   
> They go back to the Solo residence, where Kylo swears revenge on James for what he did to Hux, but Hux says that he knows a much better way to get James back, but doesn't reveal what his plan is.  
> ANYHOO IM A TERRIBLE PERSON LETS GO CHAPTER TENNN  
> (Also, this is a shorter kinda filler chapter. But also, there's a   
> C L I F F H A N G E R)

Hux

Lutz. Toe loop. Salchow. Flip.   
Wrong. Again.   
Lutz. Toe loop. Salchow. Flip.   
Hux stopped to take a few deep breaths, then steadied himself on his skates.   
It wasn't that hard. He could do this.   
Lutz. Toe loop. Salchow. Flip.  
His flip was sloppy, ever since the incident with James. It was like he was scared to make the full effort, but as he looked around the empty ice rink, which he had all to himself, he knew he was fine, so once again, he lined himself and did a few flips.   
It had been two and a half weeks since it had happened.   
Ren had kept his promise, and he hadn't told anyone, Hux had wrapped his wrist in a tensor bandage in hopes that it would heal itself, and frankly, it wasn't feeling any better.   
His mother had noticed and asked what happened, and he lied, saying he had slipped on the ice and sprained it.   
Lutz. Toe loop. Salchow. Flip.   
Perfect.   
Hux turned off his music and stepped off the ice to get some water.   
He was preparing for his comeback, to prove himself to everyone, but he hadn't told anyone (even Ren) the details.   
It was to be a big reveal.   
The sexual tension between Ren and Hux had reached an all time high with the amount of times they had almost kissed.   
The bridge, then Ren's room, then a few days ago, at Hux's window. 

A tapping had sounded on his window while he was getting ready for bed. Only one person ever came to his window, so he got up and opened it.  
"Ren, it's a school night, what are you doing?"   
"I made another tape,"   
"Oh,"  
"Yeah. You know Leonard Cohen?"   
"No,"  
"Well, you will. Here." Ren handed him a cassette with a small smile. "You'll like him. He's different from the other stuff I've given you."   
"Sounds good,"   
"How are you?"  
"Tired."  
Ren nodded. "Right. Well, goodnight."   
"Ren?" Hux grabbed the sleeve of Ren's jacket, then leaned forward towards his mouth.   
"Hux! Your mother wants you!" Brendol suddenly yelled from upstairs, startling both boys.   
Hux quickly kissed Ren's cheek, then smiled. "Goodnight," then he closed the window. 

Hux pulled off his skates and went to slip his feet inside his shoes.   
The blisters on his feet were pretty bad, but those would have to wait.  
Everything was ready.  
Now all he had to do was invite the right people. 

Ren

Rey twirled her straw in her fingers before putting it back in her drink.   
"So, what did you want to tell me?" She asked, then sipped her milkshake.   
Kylo admired the way her soft brown waves framed her face. Her ratty, overly large sweater reached her mid thigh, and her faded jeans were rolled up at the bottom to reveal her high tops, which Ren remembered being with her when she bought them.   
"Well?" She promoted, stealing a fry off of Kylo's tray.   
"I'm in love with Hux."   
She coughed, then put down her drink. "What?" She wheezed.   
"Hux. I..I like Hux, a lot."   
"Huh," she cleared her throat a few times, then looked up at her friend. "Well, you know, Poe and Finn are together."  
"I know."   
"And are out about it."   
"But Poe Dameron is a completely different person. He can get away with stuff like that."  
"No, he's just-"  
"No." Kylo shook his head and sighed. "I've been called a fag since I was in seventh grade. This will just seal the deal."   
Rey pursed her lips. "What do you want me to say, Ben? I think you should just go for it. It's almost eighty-eight, times are changing. Those guys from Pet Shop Boys are gay."  
Kylo simply smiled a little and shook his head again. 

On the way home, Ren walked slowly while listening to his Walkman. To be specific, a certain Smiths song on repeat.   
Listen. Rewind. Repeat.   
'I am the son, and the heir..'  
He mouthed the words as he walked, enjoying the thought that Hux did the same thing.   
It was their song now.   
He hopped up the steps to his house, as could already hear the argument that was happening inside.   
"Han! I can't do this anymore! You have to stop!"   
"I haven't done anything!"  
Kylo quietly shut the front door and quickly walked through the living room to the stairs.   
"Why do you always blame everything on me?" Han yelled.   
"Because," Leia sneered as Ren listened from the top of the stairs. "I'm the one who's always at home. I'm the one who cleans, who cooks, who takes care of Ben, and the taxes, and meetings, and school shit, and everything else! All you ever do is sit around watching TV or playing poker with Lando and Chewie!"   
"Am I not allowed to have fun?"  
"That's! Not! The! Point!" Leia yelled loudly.   
Kylo sighed and shut his bedroom door. He shoved a few things in his backpack, already knowing he would be going to Luke's, then noticed an envelope on his bed.   
He rarely got mail, but he realized his mom must have checked the box and left it for him.   
He opened it, then smiled as he read the letter.  
It was a simple invitation, inviting him and his parents to the big skate finale, where the team would individually show off their routines.   
Kylo tucked the letter in his pocket and walked downstairs just in time to see his mother throw her shoe at Han's head.   
"Hey!" Han ducked, and the shoe went sailing across the room and into the bookshelf.   
"Do you guys want to go to Hux's skate thing tomorrow?"   
Both parents turned to look at Ren, who stood calmly at the bottom of the stairs.   
"You don't have to pay. It's in the afternoon." He continued.   
Leia's face softened and she smiled, "Of course, honey. That sounds great." 

Hux

"I thought you were angry about me quitting?" Phasma's voice carried through the phone.   
"No," Hux played with the cord while he leaned against the wall. "No, I want you to come. I'm..planning something."   
"Hux-"  
"It's not bad. It's good, in a way, but not bad."   
Phasma was quiet for a few minutes.  
"Phasma?"  
"You aren't blowing anything up, right?"   
Hux laughed out loud at that, the laugh that Ren had once described as 'very sarcastic'.   
"Yes, I've made a sun-powered super weapon that can blow up the whole planet, and all the others in this galaxy."   
"Ok, I'll see you at the thing tomorrow. Goodnight,"  
"Goodnight. Sleep well." Hux hung up the phone and sighed. His arm wasn't much better, no matter how much ice he put on it, and he was worried about it ruining his performance.   
The dull pain was sort of always there, reminding him of what had happened with James. He wished he could go to a hospital, but it wouldn't be worth it. Somehow, they would find out. They would know.   
"Armitage!"   
His ears perked up at the sound of his mother calling him. It was late, shouldn't she have been sleeping?   
He walked up the stairs after wrapping his silk robe around himself to find his parents standing in the living room.   
Brendol looked furious, and his mother stood calmly beside him.   
"What's this shit?" Brendol demanded, slamming down a letter on the table.   
Why were they only reading it now?   
"I was in bed, reading the mail," Brendol continued. "And I get this. You're performing tomorrow? I thought I told you to never touch a skate again."   
Hux inhaled deeply. He could do this. "Sir," he started. "I just wanted to finish the season by showing my parents what I've been doing and what they've been paying for."   
His mother smiled, then gentle touched her husband's arm. "Darling, I don't think it would hurt to go."   
"I'm not watching a bunch of fairies dancing on ice!" Brendol pushed her away.   
"Father, please," Hux offered the most sincere expression he could muster. "I've trained very hard, and it's really important to me that you come. I'll even make you a deal."   
Brendol raised an eyebrow.  
Bingo.   
"What is it?"   
"If you let me do this final performance, and you come and stay for the whole thing, I'll never skate again and...I'll go to the academy."


	11. Eleven - Rebel Rebel

Hux

Hux touched his toes, then brought one knee to his chest, then the other.   
He squatted, rolled his shoulders and ankles, and he took deep breaths.   
He looked beside him, at the bench where it happened. Hux wondered what the janitor thought while mopping up the blood on the floor.   
"Hux, I didn't expect you here,"   
The redhead turned to see his coach standing in the doorway.   
"You haven't been here the past few weeks, I didn't think you would be here to perform. Uma had to make up a new routine after losing your part."  
"I'm so sorry," Hux smiled with what patience he had. "I was quite sick, but I've prepared a routine and the tech team already has my music cued, and I don't mind going last."   
"Are you sure you're ready?" Anderson eyed Hux's wrist. "You could always wait until next season. A rushed routine is usually not a good one."  
"It's perfect, I promise." 

Ren

Kylo and his parents found a spot near the glass to sit and wait for Hux to come onto the ice.  
Twitching, Ren sat with his hands in his lap and his hair in his face. Leia brushed his tendrils aside, and he nudged her hand away.  
"I'm fine," he mumbled.   
"Look at your pants!" Han laughed, gesturing to Kylo's red, plaid pants with the little zippers down the sides.   
Kylo ignored him and continued waiting. He glanced around, then spotted Phasma and that short, weird guy with the dark hair..Dolphin or something?   
Then he saw Rey, Poe, and Finn laughing it up on the opposite side. They, or at least Poe, was friends with Gum (and what sort of idiot goes by the nickname Gum?), and then finally Ren saw Brendol and Alana.   
Nobody sat by them, and they looked very regal amongst the lowly folk of the ice rink.  
Suddenly the coach skated out and talked a bit about performances, what the team had been doing, blah blah blah-

Hux

Uma finished her routine, and Hux was hiding at the other doors, not wanting them to see he was there.   
James came out and started skating to a Madame Butterfly song, and Hux's heart began racing.   
He was up next.  
It was his turn after.   
James had told him he would tell everyone about Hux and Ren.   
James had said to never skate again.   
Brendol had said to never skate again.   
Brendol told Hux to stop hanging out with Ren. 

Ren

The current performance ended, and then there he was, on the ice, and wearing..a dress? A girl's skating costume.   
Ren tried to think of any reason why Hux would have just skated out in a little blue dress, but after looking over at Brendol, who's face was bright red, and then James and his gang, who looked ready to burst, Ren understood. And surely this was just-

Hux

-part one of the plan. The reaction of the crowd was what he had wanted. But this was only part one. He took his stance, proud and confident, and the music started to flow from the speakers. It was-

Ren

-that damn song. Why the hell did he choose the Smiths for his final figure skating routine?   
How Soon Is Now sounded throughout the rink and the audience seemed confused.   
This had to be against the ancient figure skating creators or some shit like that. They only ever danced to weird piano and opera music.   
Hux looked so beautiful as he gracefully glided and leaped across the ice. It was obvious to everyone watching (though Kylo couldn't ever peel his eyes away), that Hux was by far the best.   
No wonder they-

Hux

-wanted him gone. They wanted him gone, and now, now he was back and Hux smirked as he danced and flipped because he was showing them all what he could do and who he was.   
'-so you go home, and you cry, and you want to die.'  
Hux dropped dramatically to the ice as the song ended abruptly, and everyone-

Ren

-burst into amazing applause. A standing ovation was given as people stood in the stands, clapping and cheering for Hux and his magnificent skills.   
Hux bowed, and put a hand in the air.   
Ren was so happy and proud of the redhead; he had shown them! His plan really worked and now,-

Hux

-for the final touch.   
The piece a la resistance.   
"Please," Hux spoke loudly, his hand still in the air, and people sat down, looking a little confused but still smiling. They were probably wondering-

Ren

-what was he doing?   
His routine was finished, Hux had no need to stand and speak.  
Horror suddenly gripped Kylo tightly as he worried of Hux was going to tell everyone what happened with James.   
No, he wouldn't, Ren thought.   
"I would like to thank you all," Hux continued. "I-

Hux

-am grateful you all enjoyed the show, but I have one last part to add before signing off the team, possibly forever."   
That earned a few murmurs, and Hux looked to Brendol, who had made a deal, and they would both keep it because, well, a deal's a deal.   
"This song-

Ren

-is very important to me. And I wanted to express that the only way I knew how." Hux looked around the audience carefully. Kylo felt his face blushing, and he tried to avoid making eye contact with anyone else in the arena.   
"By skating, is what I mean." The redhead looked at his feet, then back up. "But I am a human being, and I have the capabilities to speak, and what I may have shown through skating was not clear enough, so I'll-"

Hux

-say it." He bit his cheek. This was it. Defining moment. This was everything.

Ren

Kylo refrained from shouting and yelling. What the hell was the idiot doing? What was he going to say? Kylo was close to walking out onto the ice and dragging him in by the ear. 

Hux

Phasma, Mitaka, Brendol and his mother, Rey, Finn, and Poe, the Solos, and Ren himself were all waiting amongst so many others.  
"I-"

Ren

"-I'm in love with Kylo Ren."

Hux

If jaws could literally fall to the floor, they would.

Ren

If you could hear surprise, the noise the audience made would be it. 

Hux

The faces made him want to cackle. Their faces, god, they looked terrified. 

Ren

Fuck it.

Hux

The redhead watched Ren scale the glass and jump down the other side, walk across the ice in those stupid, ridiculous platform shoes, and grab Hux's cheeks like it meant nothing. 

Ren

Kylo kissed him.   
He kissed him harder than when he kissed Rey or Poe or anyone else because this was Hux- and Hux was in love with him.   
He wanted to shout it to the heavens.   
Not even focusing on where to put his hands or how to open his mouth properly or that they probably looked like morons, Kylo kissed Hux until they couldn't breathe.

Hux

When they broke apart, he could see Brendol was gone, and his mother was waiting behind the glass. He took Ren's hand and pulled him off the ice, moving quickly through the crowd of people leaving and gossiping and pushed Ren into the girl's change room.  
They didn't speak but continued pressing their bodies together and touching lips.  
"Hux-" Ren's hands touched the back of the redheads neck, and Hux noticed how red Ren's lips were, and how flushed his cheeks were. Hux smiled genuinely.   
"Ren?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm..well, I love you."  
"I know."   
"Okay."  
Hux kissed Ren again, and held his large hands in his own.   
"We should maybe leave," Ren looked around the change room. "You can come to my house."   
"I can't, Ren, I've got to go home."  
"What about your father?"   
"Exactly." Hux brushed his hair from his face. "I've got to confront him now and not later." 

Ren

Kylo opened the door to his house slowly, then listened for a few minutes. He didn't hear anyone, so he crept inside and shut the door behind him.  
Suddenly Han turned the corner and looked down at his son with a straight expression.  
"Ben."  
"Dad."   
"Ben?" Leia walked to the front door and smiled. "Ben, dear, would you like to talk about what happened today? You and Hux ran off before we could say anything."   
"No, um, I'm good, Mom," Kylo tried to squeeze past his parents, but they followed him into the living room.  
"You're clearly not fine," Han piped in. "You were kissing a fag."   
Kylo began to scowl, then looked his father in the eyes. "That's because I'm a fag, too, Dad. A big faggot, alright? I'm gay."   
"Ben, I didn't mean it like that, but if this is a phase-"  
"It's not, okay?"  
Leia put a hand out between the two. "Listen, both of you,"  
"Mom, I'm fine. Just leave me alone, both of you. I'm going to do what I want, okay? Hux is my choice, not yours!"   
Han threw his hands up in frustration. "This isn't about who it is, it's what he is. And he's a guy!"  
"I know that!"  
"But are you sure that this is what you are?" Han crossed his arms.   
Kylo simply continued flaming, then shoved past Han and out the door and didn't stop running until he reached the bridge, where he stood and yelled into the open evening air in frustration. He closed his eyes, recalling bringing Hux there when they listened to music and almost kissed, before Hux lost balance. Kylo smiled.  
"Ben!"  
Kylo turned around to see his father standing at the edge of the bridge. He started to walk towards his son, and Kylo shook his head.  
"Leave me alone,"   
"Ben, I'm sorry."  
"You're only saying that because Mom made you apologize. You don't understand. You don't understand how much it takes to be able to say that I love him. And for Hux, it's even worse!"  
"Ben-"  
"No, I don't need your excuses."  
"Ben-"  
"I said, leave me alone!"   
And suddenly Han was falling- falling off the bridge, down, down, down-  
"Dad!"

Hux

Hux splayed his hands in front of him, desperate to protect himself.   
"Brendol, stop!" Alana pleaded, grabbing her husbands arm, but he shoved her away, then his wild eyes returned to Hux's face.  
Blood poured from the redhead's nose and lip, and Hux was curled on the ground while his father's fists reigned upon him.   
"You're a disgrace to the Hux name." Brendol spat. He smacked his son across the face, and blood sprayed from Hux's mouth.   
Slowly, Hux lost feeling as he blankly stared at the wall, while Brendol repeatedly kicked and hit him over and over. He focused on what Ren had felt like and smelled like, which if he could smile, he would, because he enjoyed thinking of Ren.  
He could still smell the lavender that Ren had smelled like, and Hux could still taste the vague flavour of tea on Ren's lips.   
Something in Hux told him to never tell Ren that both while James had raped him and while Brendol beat him that he had thought of him. Ren may not like it, but Hux used it as a tactic. Maybe he wouldn't mind, who knows?   
"Pack up, son." Brendol grunted when he was done. "The academy starts in two days. And we made a deal."


	12. Twelve - Blue Monday

Ren 

The funeral was quiet and drawn out.   
Leia had decided to host the service at home (probably so the cleaning and cooking would give her something to do), and Ren stood by himself in the corner of the living room.  
People greeted and consoled Leia, who used tissue after tissue, and the coffin was closed and sitting on a stand.   
Kylo had pulled his hair from his face and taken off his eyeliner and earrings out of respect, and possibly so his tears didn't streak black down his cheeks.  
He wiped his nose on the sleeve of his suit jacket. Kylo couldn't bear to look at anyone, because they knew. They knew that it was his fault, that Han had fallen from the bridge and broken his back because his son had tried to push him away.   
It was his fault.  
The house was fairly full of people because everyone had known Han. Chewie and Lando stood with Leia, and Kylo was pretty sure Lando was drunk.   
Rey and Poe had come, and brought Finn for some reason, but Kylo had just avoided them all together.   
After deciding being inside was too much, Ren stepped outside, again wiping his face on his sleeve.   
"Ren,"   
He looked up to see a familiar face striding forward.   
Hux looked awful. He was dressed smartly in a black suit and tie, but his face was bruised. One of his eyes was swollen shut and his lips had large cuts in them.   
"God, Hux," Kylo quickly stepped forward and held the other's cheeks. "What happened?"   
Of course, he already knew, but he asked anyways.   
"This," Hux slurred, "is what happens when you fall in love, Ren."   
"I'm so sorry," Kylo's lip trembled. He wished he had gone with Hux instead of going home, because maybe, just maybe, things would have played out differently. 

"I need an ambulance!" Kylo shouted as he climbed down the rocky side to the rushing water below.   
He wasn't moving. He wasn't making any noise.   
"Dad!" He jumped the last few feet, his boots hitting the water and the cold rushing up his leg and through his bones.   
Someone was calling 911, and Kylo knew it would only be a few minutes before they came.   
"Dad?" He ran over to where his father's body had hit the rocks, not quite fully in the water, but half on land.   
He could see the blood from where he stood.   
"Dad?"   
He leaned down in the freezing river, submerging his legs as he leaned over Han.  
There was blood on his head and on the rocks around him. He was gasping quietly, and his eyes turned to look at Kylo, whose tears dripped down his cheeks and off his chin.   
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, Dad, I didn't-" he sobbed, and gripped Han's shirt. "They're coming, listen- hear the sirens? You'll be okay,"   
Han lifted a hand to his son's cheek, his face contorted in pain, then dropped it and let his head lean to the side.  
"Dad? Dad!" 

The ambulance had driven away quickly, and Kylo was seated in another with an orange blanket around his shoulders.  
Leia sobbed as she spoke to police officers, saying 'how could this have happened', and that her 'son would ever do anything on purpose', and that 'there must have been some sort of accident'.   
The funeral was arranged in two quick days and was rather informal due to the fast planning.   
Kylo recalled sending an invitation to the Hux residence, which obviously made it to Hux, who arrived a little late. 

"It's not your fault," Hux muttered, pulling Kylo's hands off his face and holding them. "None of this is."  
"You heard what happened, right?"   
"Yes,"  
"So you know I killed him."   
"You didn't."  
"You weren't there."  
"But an accident isn't murder-"  
"I killed him!" Kylo yelled, and the tears began again. "He's gone because of me! I got angry at the bridge, and if I hadn't gone there, then this would've never happened." He breathed heavily, then scowled at Hux. "If your stupid plan hadn't happened, Han would still be here."

Hux

"W-what?" Hux stepped back, a frown slowly forming on his face.  
Ren was red and looked a little crazy as he paced back and forth on the lawn with his hands in his hair.   
"If you had just kept your mouth shut about being a goddamn fruit, then nothing would've happened in the first place."   
"But, James-"  
"It's not my fault you got touched, alright? Why did you being me into it? Huh? Your own life isn't miserable enough?"   
Tears formed in Hux's eyes, and he quickly wiped them away with his hand.  
They were both silent for a few minutes, and Hux finally cleared his throat.   
"I'm sorry if that's what you really think." He trembled and sighed. "I came to tell you I'm leaving this afternoon. To the academy."  
Ren looked up, anger starting to dissipate. "What?"  
"I made a deal with Brendol. I'm going to be attending the academy for some years. I came to say goodbye, but I can see I'm not wanted here anyways."  
"Hux-"  
"Have a good life, Ren." Hux nodded curtly. "Find yourself a nice girl to be a beard, and I hope you find yourself some day."   
He quickly walked away, ignoring the calls of the dark haired boy from down the street. He tried to hold back his sobs, to stay strong, but he couldn't as he climbed into his father's car.  
"Head up, boy. The academy doesn't accept criers." Brendol started the car and began the long drive out of the city and into the country.   
Hux watched out the back window as his street got smaller and smaller as they drove further away.  
"Goodbye, Ren." He whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Check out the wonderful Spotify playlist by @ginger-general on Wattpad who made it for this fic!   
> Its cover just happens to be the fanart that inspired the whole fic, and the music is awesome, so give it a go!
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/general-ginger9/playlist/21DxWTmwsushzUQwXxybvy


	13. Thirteen - The Man Who Stole The World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clear things up, this fic isn't done yet! We've got a few more chapters and then you guys will be free of my moderately terrible writing!   
> Hang in there lol also, yes, I realize that some things hadn't come out yet that they've listened to or watched, but I'm lazy so yeah ANYHOO enjoy:)

Ren

Rey sat very still on the bench that was on the Solo's back porch.   
It was snowing, heavily, but the roof covered where Kylo sat with his friend.   
"How's the drawing coming?" Rey asked.  
Kylo hummed in response, his pencil moving along the paper. He liked drawing her, because she was delicate yet strong, and of course, pretty.   
But now, it didn't look anything like her- it was too awkward and not flowing.  
"I can't..it's- it's not working." He threw down the sketchbook in frustration.   
Rey stood up and cracked her back. "It's not the book's fault,"   
"I know."  
"You've been different since Hux left, maybe you should try to contact him."   
"I wasn't different after Han died?"  
"Well, that too, but Hux is alive and probably healthy, and you have a chance with him, so maybe-"  
"Maybe you should mind your own business."   
Rey scowled and pulled her jacket closer to her body. "I think you should calm down and realize I'm just trying to help. Hux didn't do anything-"  
"How would you even know?"  
"Because I know you, Ben, and I know you'll revert the blame in any way you can. That's just how you cope with stuff."  
"Shut up."  
"Ben-" Rey reached into her pocket.   
"I said, shut up!"  
He lunged forward, not actually knowing what he had planned to do- maybe push her, but suddenly she had pulled something from her pocket and his face was numb and he was on the ground.  
"Oh god- Ben." She kneeled down. "I'm sorry, god, I didn't mean to.."  
He touched his face and looked at his red fingers in confusion. His face started to burn and sting horribly.   
"What-" he looked at her hand and saw a lighter, and he winced as she touched his forehead. "Did you burn me?"  
"You were aggressive! You attacked me!"  
"I wasn't going to do anything, you didn't have to defend yourself with a lighter!"  
"Okay, be quiet, you need burn ointment or something." 

Kylo looked in the mirror, his face now covered in burn cream, and he frowned. "How the hell did you manage this?" The burn ran from the bottom of his left cheek diagonally to the right corner of his forehead.   
Rey shrugged as she threw out q-tips. "I dunno, but you're lucky I didn't hit your eyes. You seriously need anger therapy."  
"No, I don't."   
"Yes," she turned around. "You do. Where's Leia?"  
"Out with Luke." Kylo put the mirror down. "Why?"  
"Because she might kill me for hurting you."  
"No," he sighed. "I'm surprised she hasn't killed me herself yet."   
Rey sat beside him at the table and put a hand on his shoulder. "Ben, it wasn't your fault. And it wasn't Hux's either. You need to know that, and I think, deep down, you do."  
"Yeah."  
"So you should contact Hux. It's been a month and a half."  
Kylo brushed his hair from his face. "I don't know how. I don't think they have phones there."  
"Then drive."  
"To the academy?" Kylo turned to look at Rey, who was smiling a little.   
"I'm sure I can get Poe to lend you his car."  
"I dunno," he looked back down at the table. "I think everyone's been avoiding me."  
"No," Rey stood up. "You've been avoiding everyone else. Let's go."

Hux

"Come on, pussies! Run like you mean it!"   
Hux pushed forward, his legs sore, his chest burning, and the snow pouring down on top of his head. The captain drove beside the boys in a cart, while the cadets ran with all their might.   
He only had fifty eight and a half more months of this to go.   
Hux imagined his father, standing in his giant office, smirking as he watched his little twink son run laps around the academy.   
Bastard.  
"Alright, girls, being it in!"  
They jogged to the cart, panting and wheezing. The captain stood up and laughed. "Look at you! You guys are ridiculous! Alright, run back to your rooms and take a shower. Dinner's oats tonight."

Back at the building, Hux walked down the long corridor to his room, which he shared with two other boys.  
Raz and Bala were friends before joining the academy, and though they joined, they constantly complained, and often talked about quitting and starting gangs.   
Hux opened his room door to find that it was empty and he was alone.   
He removed his shoes, socks, and shirt, and stood half naked in the cold room.   
They weren't allowed electric heat, and only relied on wearing proper clothing and lots of blankets.   
He cleaned himself using a damp cloth, as Hux had a deathly fear of using the shower rooms.   
While changing into a warm sweater, a box fell from his suitcase, and he quickly picked it up and peered inside.  
The cassettes were fine, still in good shape, and not cracked. He sighed in relief. Though he no longer had a stereo (he wasn't allowed to bring it along), he still kept the tapes that Ren had made for him because if he focused, he could still feel the way the music had made him feel, and he could once again smell Ren and hear his voice.  
Sure, it's had only been a little less than two months, but it was too long, because Ren lingered in Hux's every thought and dream. How could he just forget that Ren had been such a big part of his life? Ren had made it clear he didn't want Hux anymore, and yet, the redhead was still attached and still desperate to see the other again.   
Hux sighed and put the box away, then walked down to go eat dinner.

Ren

"Of course you can use it! This is a matter of extreme and immediate importance!" Poe chuckled and patted Kylo on the back. "When are you going?"  
"Now."  
"Now?" Rey and Poe asked in unison.   
Poe rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, sure, man, take it, but you might need to refill the gas. Where are you headed?"  
"The academy."  
"Huh," Poe tossed Kylo the keys and grinned. "Thought maybe you guys had some secret meeting spot or something."  
"Hux doesn't know Ben is coming," Rey explained, and Kylo nodded.   
"I'm getting him out of there. I'll tear the walls down if I have to."   
Poe listened and pulled his hands from his pockets. He walked over to Ren and gently placed his hands on his cheeks and kissed his lips.  
"Good luck, bud. You mean the world to us."   
Rey hugged him, and Kylo nodded awkwardly at his friends. "I'll be back soon. If not, Brendol killed me. So, um, bye."  
He hopped down the front steps of the Dameron residence, then got into Poe's sports car and drove off.   
He didn't quite know where the academy was, but he knew it was just out in the country. He hadn't told his mother about leaving, and he didn't bring anything other than his Walkman and wallet, but that was enough, because Rey's words and brought him some sense, and he was going to help Hux even if it meant facing the wrath of Brendol.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Kylo mumbled as he drove along the strip of highway. The snow was coming down heavily, and he could barely see a few feet ahead of him, even with his headlights on. Not only did Kylo not know how to get to the academy, as he was basing this on just being able to see it, but there was no way he would find it in a snowstorm.   
The music was cranked way up, the Buzzcocks blaring in his ears as he drove. He knew it wasn't safe to be driving so fast even when there wasn't a snowstorm or the threat of never seeing one of the only people he cared about ever again.   
Suddenly he saw a sign, he saw the word academy, and he quickly slammed on the breaks and spun the car on a sharp turn and bumbled down the driveway to the huge building.  
He just missed the fence as he slid into the parking lot, and he quickly parked and jumped out of the car.   
Inside, the snow from his hair and shoes dripped onto the floor, and the receptionist gave him a scowl.   
"I'm looking for someone-" he explained while panting. "Can you tell me..which, um, regiment he's in? Or where to go-"  
"Name?" She snapped, typing on her huge computer.   
"Hux,"  
She raised an eyebrow, then smirked a little. "Brendol Hux?"  
"No, his son."   
"Armitage?"  
Armitage? Kylo smiled then, because somehow, he had never thought about how he had always refereed to the redhead by his last name. He must have heard his first name before, but only now did he truly appreciate it.   
"Yes, Armitage. I, um, need him, please."  
"Well," she sighed and adjusted her glasses. "They're in the dining hall right now, and the captain may not appreciate you interrupting."    
"That's fine," he started walking down the corridor quickly, in search of the dining hall.

Hux

Whatever Hux was eating, it certainly wasn't warm, but rather tasted like cold, bland oatmeal.   
He pushed it aside, not to be rude, but because he no longer felt hungry.   
The boys around goofed and laughed, and of course, were eating the food because they were used to it, presumably.  
"Armitage!"   
Everyone's heads turned to who had called out, to who was standing in the doorway.   
Ren.   
What a fucking moron.   
What the hell was he doing there?   
Hux stood up, and quietly walked past the crowd of gawking cadets, and stood in front on Ren, whose hair was wet and makeup was running. But biggest thing that Hux noticed was the large pink..burn? That ran across Ren's face.  
"Armitage,"  
"Don't call me that," Hux put up his hand.   
"But that's-"  
"Don't. Call me that." He said sternly. "Please.   
"Alright." Ren looked around awkwardly. "I guess kissing you wouldn't be-"  
"What are you doing here?" He had to stay strong. If Ren wanted his affection back, he would have to win it. While he still cared about the stupid punk dearly, surely just saying 'okay' and sealing things with a kiss wouldn't teach Ren the lesson he deserved.   
"I wanted to apologize," Ren shoved his hands in his pockets.   
"Oh? And?" Hux crossed his arms, trying to appear bigger than he was.   
"And," Ren closed his eyes briefly, sighed, and licked his lips. "And I know it wasn't your fault. I know what you were trying to do, and you were just trying to help me-us, with what we are."  
"You make it sound like we're from another planet."   
"Well, the way people look at me now, you'd think we were. But Han was not yours or my own fault, it was an accident. I shouldn't have taken out my anger at you and I'm sorry, because I, well, I love you. Or whatever, I don't know, it may not be what you want to hear or-"  
Hux pressed his index finger to Ren's lips and smiled a little. "That's all I wanted to hear,"  
"Oh," Ren smiled back. "Okay."  
"What happened to your face?"  
"Rey and a lighter."  
"Rey burned your face?"   
"Well, it's a long story. I'll tell you on the way back."  
"The way back?" Hux frowned. "The way back from what?"   
"Here." Ren laughed a little. "The academy, obviously. Don't you want to go home?"   
"Well, yes, but, Ren," Hux touched the boy's cheek. "I made a deal. And I intend to keep it."   
"So, you're staying?"   
"Yes."

Ren

Kylo looked back behind Hux, at all the cadets, who he had forgotten about. They were all whispering and chuckling amongst themselves.   
"Can I come and visit?"   
"You really shouldn't. My father would kill you if he saw you."   
"What about calling?"  
"They discourage electricity."  
"Letters?"   
Hux smirked. "Letters I can live with."   
"I'll write every week." Ren promised.  
"I don't doubt it."  
"Write me back?"   
"Of course, fool. What, and keep you waiting?"   
Ren swept his limp hair aside. "Don't turn into your father, alright? Five years is a long time."  
"Never," Hux grew serious, and Kylo swallowed hard.   
"Goodbye, Hux."  
"Goodbye, Ren."   
He didn't care, he didn't care of every stupid army kid saw, he kissed Hux hard while wrapping his hands around Hux's neck and in his hair, then suddenly a horn sounded loudly over the PA.   
"You have to go," Hux pushed at Kylo's chest, smiling the whole time. "Quick, now!"   
Ren laughed, and jogged backwards out of the room.  
"You'll be hearing from me, Armitage! Very soon!"


	14. Fourteen - Hungry Like The Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey this is a shorter chapter, a filler, but it's important so don't skip it. Also, the letters skip through time so pay attention to what they say :3

Ren 

Dear Hux,   
I don't know how I'll last two more years of this. I know, we've done this for the past few years, and the letters are weekly, but you know, I miss you.   
I walked past the rink today and saw the team practicing. They have some new members, do you think you'll join when you get back? I'm sure you won't be too out of practice. 

Hux

Dear Ren,   
I was awarded some medal today (I wasn't really paying attention, I was just quite surprised), and Brendol seemed displeased. I suppose he's unhappy I haven't 'armied-the-gay-out' yet.   
Only a year and a half until I get to see you. I'm still waiting.

Ren

Dear Hux,  
I applied to collage yesterday, and now I'm waiting on a letter back. I hope I get accepted, I've waited long enough to apply.   
I can't wait until I get to see your uniform in person (though I enjoyed the drawing you sent in the last letter. It was very powerful). And I'll get to see it in eight months, so you better wear it when I come to pick you up. 

Hux

Dear Ren,   
I'm so happy that you were accepted, and I suppose I'll still have to go to university when I return in four months, as five years in the academy doesn't count.   
Do you still wear makeup, or was that just a teen phase? I try to picture what you look like now. I, personally, had a growth spurt and I'm taller, perhaps even taller than you. My shoulders have broadened, but I'm still smaller than the others. I'm fast though, so I do have that going for me. 

Ren

Dear Hux,   
Just a month. Only a month and then I get to kiss you and hold you again. Counting down in the letters has helped a lot, I feel closer to you than I ever have before.   
I was thinking about how it will happen, when we see each other again, and I have to ask one question first. Do you still have sideburns? I forgot to ask last time we discussed what we look like now. 

Hux

Dear Ren,  
This is the last letter before you meet me next week in the parking lot. 1:00 pm on the dot. Don't be late.   
I'll see you soon, Kylo Ren. I've waited so long.


	15. 15 - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

Hux

His uniform was pressed and ironed nicely to fit snugly on Hux's body.  
He looked at himself in the mirror proudly, and put on his little hat with the odd cap in the front.  
Standard academy uniforms.  
Hux looked at the clock. It was 12:51, pm, and he tapped his finger nervously. He really should've been outside already, ready to meet the one who had waited five years, but for some reason he was nervous.  
Possibly because they had built so much up to this very moment, and Hux just knew he would mess it up for Ren.  
The door swung open, and a younger boy stood there.  
"Sir, there's someone here for you."

Ren

"How do I look?" Kylo looked down at Rey, who rolled her dark eyes.  
"For the hundredth time, you look fine. Stop worrying so much." She leaned against Poe's car and smiled. "He'll be too excited to even think about what you look like."  
"I agree," Poe butted in after turning away from Finn. "You'll see, it'll be fine."  
The group had arrived in two cars, Poe's and Kylo's, because the three (Rey, Poe, and Finn), would drive back together while Kylo and Hux drove in his car. So they could have time to talk, obviously.  
The door to the academy opened, and Ren stood up straight.  
Out walked someone who looked vaguely like Hux, but was so much more..angelic.  
Of course, as angelic as one can look wearing a charcoal uniform and a silly little hat.  
His stance was soldier-like (obviously, Kylo thought), and his expression was difficult to read. Hux's sideburns still held their place proudly on his face, and he was at least a foot or two taller.  
Hux's eyes met Kylo's, and for a moment he said nothing, then he opened his mouth.  
"My god, you couldn't have gotten a haircut?"

Hux

Kylo Ren looked just as ridiculous as they day they parted.  
First of all, Hux was not expecting the three others to be there, but he didn't really care because there was Ren, with his dark shaggy hair and black sports jackets, leaning against a black car that probably cost him all of his money.  
The eyeliner was gone, just for now, probably, but Ren's eyes looked the same. He stood up straighter when he saw Hux, and Hux couldn't help but smile a little and comment on his hair.  
"It's better than before," Ren said, not moving from his spot. Hux shrugged.  
"Your voice sounds different. Deeper."  
"Yours sounds more..I dunno." Ren laughed. "Better for yelling orders?"  
Hux took the moment to take a few strides forward and hug Ren, who was much taller than Hux remembered him being.  
"You've grown," the redhead whispered into Kylo's hair. "And I've missed you, god, I've missed you."  
"I'm here now, and you're done. No more Brendol." Ren pulled away. "You're free."  
Hux closed his eyes for a moment to appreciate Ren in all his physical glory. The familiarity of scents and feelings began to come back to him, and he just couldn't stop smiling.  
"Could I kiss you?" Ren asked quietly. Hux wanted him to shout it through a bloody megaphone.  
"Depends. Is that all you're going to do?"  
"I would so much more, but we're in a parking lot in front of your father's building."  
"A kiss will do for now, then."  
Hux stood on his tip-toes while Ren arched his neck downwards, and somehow they met in the middle. 

Ren

His eyes closed and he felt Hux's lips welcoming his own. What a feeling.  
Kylo smiled into the kiss, then wrapped his arms around Hux's waist and lifted him, spinning and laughing. The sun shone down into the parking lot, through Hux's hair and into his smile, and Hux's laugh rang through the air.  
"Let's go," Kylo put the redhead on the ground gently, and gestured to the car. "Let's go drive around. We can talk."  
"We'll meet you back in town," Rey said while climbing into Poe's ride. "Call us when you get home."  
Ren slid into the driver's seat of his own car, and Hux got in beside him.  
"When and how did you get this?"  
Kylo put the keys in the ignition. "Luke bought it for me. Funny how he'll buy me a car before getting rid of his."  
They drove out of the academy lot, and started down the highway. The windows were rolled down and the summer air blew into the car and brought a comforting feeling of familiarity.  
"You start collage in September?" Hux asked, looking out to the fields they drove past.  
"Yeah, I'm taking a bunch of art classes."  
"I'm proud of you, Ren. Really." Hux placed his hand on Kylo's thigh, and suddenly the car took a sharp turn onto a dirt path, then parked. Kylo turned off the engine, then took off his seatbelt and pulled his seat back.  
"Come here,"  
Hux climbed from his place and onto Kylo's lap. "Ren,"  
"Yeah?"  
"Help me take this off. It's too hot."  
"Uh, yeah. Sure."  
Together they took off the uniform top to reveal the undershirt below. Hux carefully folded and placed the uniform top to the side, then put his hat on top.  
"Better?" Kylo asked quietly.  
Hux nodded in response. "I wear shoulder pads."  
"What?" Kylo began to laugh while pressing his lips against Hux's neck.  
"They put shoulder pads in my uniform so it would fit me properly."  
"That's cute,"  
Hux sat up and pulled away from Ren. "Are you listening?"  
"No, I'm trying to kiss you. Stop talking." Kylo knew that Hux wouldn't be offended because the way they were both smiling so brightly.  
"Whatever," Hux shrugged. "But don't pretend that I'm actually buff or anything."  
"I don't care if you wear shoulder pads. I love you how you are like this."  
"Sweaty and half dressed?"  
"No," Kylo brushed some hair from the redhead's face. "I love you right now because you're actually happy. You're smiling, did you know that?"  
"I hadn't noticed,"  
Kylo turned around a little (as much as he could in the driver's seat), and reached into the back. He pulled out a camera.

Hux

"What are you doing?" Hux frowned as he shifted a little in Ren's lap.  
"I want to take a picture with you like this."  
Hux rolled his eyes. Since when was Ren sentimental? "Shall I get off of you?"  
"No, no," Ren held the Polaroid up to his eye. "I want the picture to be exactly how I see you."  
"How do you see me?"  
"You're beautiful."  
Hux couldn't help but grin and look away a little as Ren snapped the picture, and the little square ejected from the bottom of the camera.  
The redhead shook his head and look out the window. The little spot they had stopped at was a small dirt path that led into a field. The highway was a few feet away, yet the whole area was strangely quiet.  
"Look," Ren showed the picture to Hux and he snorted.  
"Get rid of it, I look awful. My mouth's all open."  
"It's called a smile."  
"I look awful."  
"Beautiful."  
"When did you get like this?"  
"Like what?"  
Hux shrugged. "Sweet. Caring. Human."  
"Ouch," Ren laughed, and placed his hands on the redhead's hips. "Wasn't I always?"  
"Yes, but differently. You made me mixed tapes, you mumbled and drew and wore too much makeup."  
"I was a teenager."  
"That's true."  
"At least I don't have sideburns."  
"Touché."  
Ren struggled a little to get his leather jacket off (and why he wore it during the summer, only God knows), and threw it in the back.  
"Let's go outside."  
They opened the door, and Ren helped Hux off his lap and out of the car.  
Once out of the heated space, the redhead stretched and smirked a little.  
"A bit too cramped in there, Ren?"  
Ren smiled, and looked down at him.  
"Have I ever told you, that when you stand outside, the sun makes you look so much brighter?"  
"I think that's how the sun works-"  
"Armitage."  
Hux looked up with a frown. "What?"  
Suddenly Ren was lowering himself, onto the ground, and no, no, no, this wasn't happening- it had to be a dream. Hux started to feel a little dizzy and he shook his head.  
"Hux-" Kylo began.  
"Ren, I can't, I can't,"  
"I haven't even said anything yet."  
"But I can't."  
"Why? Do you.." Ren looked hurt, sitting on one knee, with his hand in his pocket. "..do you not like me anymore?"  
"I do, I do," Hux nodded as he felt a tear down his face. "Just, how can I be yours? I'm not good for you."  
"You are, Hux, you're the best thing for me. I stayed true to you for five years, how could I ever propose unless I knew it was what I wanted?"  
Ren saying the word propose suddenly made it so much more real.  
Who was Hux kidding? Of course he wanted to marry Kylo Ren. There was nothing he wanted more.  
"So, may I ask you?"  
"Yes."  
"Armitage Hux," Ren reached into his pocket again and produced a small navy blue box. He opened it, and inside was a gold ring. "Will you marry me?"  
"Yes."  
And as the warm sky shone down upon the two, the two who were once damaged teenagers from broken homes who fell madly in love, and not because of their similarities, but because of their differences, they smiled.  
Real, genuine, smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg it's done! Thank you everyone for reading, and may you blessed with lots of great Kylux feels<3


End file.
